Okey dokey.

*Holds up hand in chopping position*

Looks like I'm going to be the brawn of this crew.

*Feints with the chop and performs a clumsy spinning jump kick*

Yay!

That cat was fast as lightning. In fact it was a little bit frightening. But he fought with expert timing. Whoa-oh-oh-ooooooooooh.

It started with a storm.

Not just any storm...

A storm of the miiiiiiiind....

--Balthazar the Obnoxious

Prologue

It started on a day like any other. Except for the exact conjunction of certain planets, the brief hiccup in time that shortened the life of the universe by half a second, the fluctuations of the tides, the general rise in humidity, the general skeeviness of supermarket tabloids...except for those things (and many, many more), it was a pretty ordinary day.

The people of Earth (tm) went about their lives as per usual. And who can blame them? For if the soul-shattering truths contained herein were to pierce the psyche of any normal soul, they would surely go mad, gibbering manically and frothing at the mouth, dancing naked in the moonlight paying homage to their pagan gods.

There is only one place on the entire planet where such events are taken for granted, where the sane and insane mingle with ease, where the draconian fists of horror beyond horror fail to crush all hope.

It was an asylum. It was a fortress. It was a bastion of hope.

It was a web site.

They didn't remember how they got there. They was a vague memory...a flash of light and a swirling vortex...and they were gathered there in the dark room. The air was stale and smelled faintly of onion dip.

A voice rang out from the darkness, as voices tend to do in darkness.

"YOU HAIL FROM THE REALMS!" the voice boomed. "THOUGH YOU KNOW IT TO BE A SITE DEDICATED TO MINIATURE FIGURES OF SUPERHEROES, KNOW THIS: IT IS MUCH, MUCH MORE! THE REALMS IS BUT A PORTAL, A PORTAL TO ALL REALMS.

ALSO, MY CAPS KEY IS BROKEN. SORRY ABOUT THE SHOUTING.

YOUR AID IS NEEDED, FOR SINISTER FORCES HAVE ARISEN IN THE LAND! THE POWERS OF REALITY HAVE BEEN STOLEN FOR SINISTER PURPOSES BY SINISTER BEINGS!

YOU MUST FIND THE POWERS OF REALITY. YOU MUST FIND THEM ALL THEN, WHEN YOU ARE DONE, BRING THEM BACK TO THIS REALM, THE NEXUS OF THEM ALL. ONLY THEN SHALL ALL THE REALMS BE SAFE.

IF YOU FAIL, ALL OF REALITY SHALL BE DESTROYED. WHICH WOULD BE A MAJOR DRAG. I PERSONALLY ADVISE AGAINST IT. FRANKLY, WE'RE NOT INSURED FOR THIS.

A glowing portal appeared before our heroes.

JKLANTERN, YOUR CULINARY APTITUDE SHALL SERVE YOU WELL.

PAX, YOU ARE NOT WEEDY. HOW YOU GOT IN WITH THIS CREW, I DUNNO. CLERICAL ERROR?

WADE, TL/DR. NUFF SAID.

BOY BLUNDER, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? PROBABLY!

CHARLESX, DID YOU KNOW THAT IN 1982 ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF IMPORT HAPPENED IF YOU FAIL? BECAUSE 1982 ITSELF WILL BE BLOWN UP!

SPACE JAWA, MIMIC ME AND YOU GET A SOCK FILLED WITH QUARTERS IN THE NOSE. FAIR WARNING.

NOW GO, FAIR WARRIORS, AND SAVE US ALL!

And with a helpful shove, the Realmsers were shoved through the portal...

To find out where the portal leads, click the following link.

(complete with epic intro)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJwLO...eature=related

Tomorrow, IT BEGINS!

I clicked the link to the portal.

Jack, you can read my mind.

Things are going to get really weird...really fast!

Let's see...I think Koopa and Goomba can be used to make soup...

I am not weedy!

Well, crapola. Here I am sitting at work and completely unable to see the video link.

(Zounds! If we fail, then 1982 will cease to exist and we'll lose the theatrical release of E.T. The Extraterrestrial and the film debut of Michelle Pfeiffer (in Grease 2) - NOT TO MENTION STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN!!!!!!!!!!)


KHHHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Just doing the math, I was probably conceived in January of 1983, so losing '82 ain't THAT big a deal.

Some of your *ahem* genetic raw material may have been constructed during 1982 though.
Oh, right, I'm not playing...

Can we take actions now?

I thought that we could only take actions when we have a scenario with bolded text. Am I mistaken?

I don't know. We have an opening write-up, and I want to do stuff.