I was just out in the mall attached to the rink and got assaulted with Mariah Carey's moany-waily "All I Want For Christmas" and I found myself, once again, remarking how much I can't stand The Silly Season.

Owing to this, a coworker called me a Scrooge the other day. But I'm not a Scrooge. Scrooge, at least at the beginning of the story doesn't hate Christmas for the reasons that I do, and at the end of the story he likes it for all the reasons I wish I could and no one does, and THAT's why I don't like it in the first place. If you're going to "insult" me, call me Charlie Brown. I'm the guy, jaded by the commercialism and misplaced attention on materialism, standing in the middle of the stage yelling, "Doesn't anyone know what Christmas is all about!?"

Anyway, I catch flak at Ski Patrol because I quickly grow tired of the "Christmas Music" being blasted at us the entire time we're trying to keep people safe or rescue them. Last year I noted that it's worse than Top 40 radio because I doubt there are more than 40 unique Christmas songs.

So, here's the challenge you collective heads of knuckle:

Come up with 40 unique Christmas songs.

Rules: A version of Jingle Bells by Frank Sinatra and Barbara Streisand may have some different lyrics, but it's still friggin' Jingle Bells, so it only counts once.

Parodies don't count. I might count novelty songs, but I'm on the borderline on that one.

Crap that has been co-opted into Christmas doesn't count. Best example: These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things. It's not a Christmas song. Just because Christmas stations realized what I realized (that there aren't that many Christmas songs) and started shoehorning anything mentioning winter or snow or packages into their playlist doesn't matter to me.

I have full faith in your ability to prove me wrong. (The guys on my Ski Patrol shift did not fare so well.) So start filling in the following catagories:

Religious:

O Holy Night
Silent Night
Little Drummer Boy
It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
Good King Wencelsas
O Come All Ye Faithful
Away In A Manger
Do You Hear What I Hear
Angels We Have Heard On High
Go Tell It On The Mountain
What Child Is This
The First Noel
O Little Town Of Bethlehem
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
We Three Kings


Secular:

Silver Bells
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
Feliz Navidad
Carol of the Bells
Deck the Halls
White Christmas
Blue Christmas
I'll Be Home For Christmas
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
All I Want For Christmas
Up On the Housetop
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting)
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays
A Holly Jolly Christmas
Wonderful Christmastime
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
Here Comes Santa Claus
I Saw Three Ships
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
12 Days Of Christmas
Santa Baby
Happy Holiday
Happy Christmas (War is Over)
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It's Christmas Baby Please Come Home
Do They Know It's Christmas
Christmas Time Is Here
It's Cold Outside
Last Christmas
We Need A Little Christmas


Songs about winter that have been co-opted:

Jingle Bells
Jingle Bell Rock


Novelty: (Questionable inclusion)

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Fairytale Of New York
Christmas Island
Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You
The Man In The Santa Suit
Six White Boomers
Tojo
Santa Never Made It To Darwin
Christmas Shoes
Christmas Wrapping
Step Into Christmas
Christmas Vacation
Nobody Ought To Be Alone On Christmas
Swiss Colony Beef Log
Dominick The Donkey
Ho Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum
Chrissy The Christmas Mouse
I'm Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas
The Chipmunk Song
Melee Kalikimaka
I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
Christmas At Ground Zero
The Night Santa Went Crazy
The Hat I Got For Christmas Ees Too Beeg
I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas
Yingle Bells
I Hate Christmas

I will do this later, but I am game.

I hate this one because it was the first song on the two hour play-list used every year while I was working retail. I would know how far into my shift I was by counting the times I heard those darn opening chimes.

Silver Bells
Jingle Bells
Jingle Bell Rock
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
O Chrismas Tree
Feliz Navidad
Carol of the Bells
Deck the Halls
White Christmas
Blue Christmas
I'll Be Home For Christmas
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
O Holy Night
Silent Night
Mistress For Christmas
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Up On the Housetop
Christmas In Hollis
The Christmas Song
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Little Drummer Boy
Home For The Holidays
A Holly Jolly Christmas
Wonderful Christmastime
O Come All Ye Faithful
Away In A MangerIt's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
Do You Hear What I Hear
Angels We Have Heard On High
Go Tell It On The Mountain
Mary's Boy Child
What Child Is This
Here Comes Santa Claus
I Saw Three Ships
The First Noel
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
12 Days Of Christmas
Santa Baby
Happy Holiday
O Little Town Of Bethlehem
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

You don't have to do it alone, or all at once.

You can start naming stuff off; I'll add it to my first post on the subject.

In the efforts of full disclosure, I'm not in this to win. I'm fairly certain that I'm wrong, and there are more than forty, depending on how you look at it. I was raised Catholic, and I was a Choir Boy, so I knew LOADS of songs I didn't mention to my Ski Patrol buddies. When you get down to it, I'm genuinely curious as to how many songs there are out there.

One way or the other, it won't change my perception that the Christmas radio stations are torturing me with a limited set of the same garbage.

Damn! How'd you do that so fast?

The ones I left up there are ones I've never heard of. I'm collating the rest.

EDIT: Collating complete! Nicely done, Harpua. I had to remove the "Greed Songs" label because so many of the secular ones weren't about greed of any kind.

We're at 38, but I can already think of more than two that should be on the list, so, as predicted, you guys blew my theory, and my Patrol buddies, out of the water.

Keep going, guys. I know there's more.

Christmas in Hollis is in my top 5 favorite Christmas songs. It's brillig.

I'm going to have to check it out.

My favorite is not on the list yet. Can anyone figure it out?

When you do, you probably won't be surprised.

angels we have heard on high
we wish you a Merry Christmas
those can replace Christmas in Hollis and mistress for Christmas if you wish.
there is no disputing Mary's boy child as a Christmas song.

Off the top of my head:

Jingle bells
Jingle bell Rock
Silent Night
All I want for Christmas
We Three Kings
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
12 Days of Christmas
Happy Christmas (War is Over)
Simply Having a Marvelous Christmastime
Fairy Tale of New York
The First Noel
It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
The Little Drummer Boy
Hark the Herald Angels Sing
Good King Wencelsas
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Blue Christmas
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Santa Baby
Christmas Time is Here

Novelty:
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause
Grandma got run over by a Reindeer

I suppose those duplicate the above a lot-- I have been away

I hate Christmas by Zebrahead?

I'm going with Fairytale of NY as his favorite.

Good stuff. You nailed at least one that I was thinking of.

Strike that: You nailed SEVERAL that I was thinking of.

I left the ones I don't know in there. Did you mean The Chipmunk Song?

You also have me questioning my classification system. I certainly think Grandma is novelty, but you make a good case for Mommy Kissing.

I said that one already, so how about We Need A Little Christmas.

Realistic guesses for your favorite...
The Christmas Song ("Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...")
Father Christmas - The Kinks

Maybe...
I Believe In Father Christmas by Greg Lake (of Emerson Lake & Palmer)?