I'd play an Amazing race game.

Call her, but wait until next week.
Comfort her, but make it clear that that's not what you are there for.
Ask her out on a date.
Be romantic, get her flowers (or just a single rose) every so often you meet.
Every time it feels like you're getting friend-zoned, just decline. Keep some sexual innuendo in the mix.

It's like deep sea fishing, it's a war of attrition. Sometimes you need to be aggressive, other times you need to relax a bit. Every time she thinks you are pulling her into a safe haven, prove her wrong. You are there to pull her to her doom, you will savagely eat her up, and she will never forget it.

Rule of thumb: she says something with the word "friend" in relation to you, and you attack. Kiss her on the cheek, compliment her physical beauty, anything that would make her feel like a woman getting complimented by a man, not a friend.

Well, I live in Finland, so apart for some refugees, it.... oh yeah, I watch that show.

And that's how you kill a thread!

Good show old chum!

*applauds to Ouch*

After he's finished hooking her, he can fry her up and serve her with some chips. Then everybody wins!

Thawmus, she may have your best interest in mind when she tells you that she's still hurting over the break-up. Just keep being yourself and honest with your interest in her.

However, if she ever, EVER says "I just not ready for a relationship right now" instead of the whole "hurting" line, she's not interested in you.

Ok guys, I'm almost back...kinda. I'll try and participateas best I can between work, family, and finding a enw home for my homeless father. I have 2 big reports to publish at work this week as well. The funeral set me back quite a bit.

Okay, now that I am behind an actual keyboard, here is how it went.

Me: So, are you seeing anybody right now?

Her: No....

Me: Would...you....be willing to let me take you out sometime to dinner and a movie?

Her: Um...(starts tearing up)...um actually I just went through a pretty bad breakup....(her face bunches up and she starts speaking softer and softer, I can't make out what she's saying)

Me: Oh, I understand, that's okay! I'm not going anywhere anytime soon (crack a smile, which seems to get her to smile).

Her: (More soft words, can't make them out, then..)..but I could really use a friend...

Me: Ah. I can do that. (Smile some more, which seems to be getting her to smile, and stop crying)


She then proceeded to follow me around for the evening, which got her made fun of at one point, but we weren't weird around each other. We engaged each other openly, had plenty of laughs, etc.

At the end of the night, as she was going to her brother's car, there was a weird exchange of, "Um, yeah, so just give me a call sometime." and "##### has my number, just give me a call."

Which I really don't know why I was saying any of that, and it was really just awkward and head-bang-on-wall stupid.

She then gave me a really inviting smile and got in the car.




I....don't know what to make of any of it. I don't know what she's expecting at all, now. It seemed pretty clear to me at the start of the evening, but....

Eh, maybe this is why I don't do this stuff. I always freeze up like this. A normal person would have stopped her while she was talking, taken her to a perhaps more quiet place to continue talking, and just say, "Hey, I can barely hear you, hang on a sec."

Me, I'm too busy maintaining my composure in front of a pretty woman.

For all I know, she was suggesting I take her out as a friend. There's a distinct possibility that's what happened, and I didn't get the message at all. Nor respond to it correctly.




As for your advice: I'll be honest, I don't even read what Carlos has to say on these matters. I read his posts when I want a good laugh, not when I want perspective on the matters of woman. Misogyny runs pretty high in my family, and it's important to me that I break that ####ing chain. There's a reason I don't go to them for advice. I'd get advice that you could swear came from Bing Crosby or the Green Goblin himself. "Do what you gotta do, and then broom her, broom her fast!"

The reason I go to you guys for advice is because I'm pretty damned retarded when it comes to deciphering relationship code, and it has caused me a lot of pain and regret.

Gah! Quebbs is a dirty Nazi!

Ouch is pretty dead on.

You and all the rest of us brotha. sounds like you did alright...

Ouch gave as good advice as anyone I guess..



Am I a bad person for picturing Rumiko Takahashi characters acting out that scenario?

Putting Thawmus on ignore list just as a reminder for not give advices again to him.

Only because I have no frame of reference.

Oh Carlos, you know I love you.

In that, "Hey this is my strange uncle. He's a hilarious guy, just don't be in a room alone with him, okay honey?" sort of way.

I think you should take Carlos's advice (which I have not read either).
Because the way I appraise the situation you are screwed anyway and don't really have anything to lose.

Thawmus, hail's advice makes sense to me.

Though if it should happen that you get "friend-zoned", you should immediately break off and head into deep space. Never hang your hopes on anything romantically worthwhile developing after getting "friend-zoned."

I think that you need more data, more time, and more interaction with the lady in order to determine your best course of action.

Just saying, is all...