Finally got a pic of one of the bears near my house.

This was a little guy...not worth chasing.

Was he after your picnic basket?

No. They're always after me lucky charms.

I know this guy who used make animal silhouettes out of wood, spray paint them black and photograph them from a distance. Then he'd tell people he had a bear in his yard just for attention.

It was sad really.

It is quiet in here today. Too quiet.

My bear army has gotten them all. You're next, sizzle-chest.

Props for using "sizzle-chest".

So I was in Wal-Mart yesterday and not really paying attention to what I was doing. I went around a corner and some idiot slammed his cart into me.
He says "Dude, sorry. Are you ok?"
I scream "I'm not a midget, you a-hole, and that joke was never funny."

I'm not sure he knew what I was talking about.

I'm sure it's funnier the tenth time Bud tells it.

I tell it really well!

Yeah, and thanks for that.

I can't tell you the number of times I have heard him talk about that joke.

Wait 'til he hears how much I talk about it NOW!!!!

I think it's funny.

My only fear is that Bud will start actually plowing down midgets in the hopes of making it come true.

Nothing would make the sickos I work with happier!

That's a valid fear.