Cat Show Saturday - the cat shows become a whole thing with the Mrs and her family, so I am graciously bowing out.

So you have a THAT GUY as well.

Gear up for the season LPC!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFp4X5Ivixs

(I saw this on Youtube and had to share it with someone. You Guys seemed like the best candidates.)

He works there

Bud,

CL says he wants it harder.

Wealthily your,
jackassterson

wintre,

Quit killing the thread.

Vaguely,
mute

I could not make up this story if I tried. I had to go through the art room today to retrieve some items I had left there earlier for one of my science class experiments.

The 70+ year old substitute lady in art class wondered if one of the items I'd left in the room was an aluminum meter measuring stick. For whatever insane reason, this old lady, who goes by "Grandma Katy" with all the students, holds the stick in front of her right at genitalia level. At first she holds it like a sword in front of her, and then it droops down since it was not a rigid stick. TO my horror, she then holds it just like a giant strap-on dildo, and begins slowly flopping it up and down. A few students notice it, and as she starts to wave the semi-rigid measuring stick around, she says...

"Oooohh, this is fun"
"Is this yours Mr. Hoffman?"
as she begins to turn sideways to the class, still flopping it up and down:
"Do you want to take this thing?"
"I could do this all day!"

By this time, the entire class is laughing or mortified or both. The students in it were all high school Advanced art students, including our pending Valedictorian and Salutatorian, and our two extremely beautiful exchange students from Europe. The only person in the room who didn't seem to get the awkwardness of Grandma Katy's actions was of course Grandma Katy herself. I almost NEVER get embarrassed in situations, but I was so redfaced, I could feel it. Trying not to laugh, I repeatedly asked her to stop or to put down the yardstick, and a student or two asked the same, but she was having a grand old time.

After maybe 90 seconds (that felt like an hour), she walked closer to me and said "Am I not getting something, because this doesn't seem like it should be this funny?!"

With as much dignity I could muster I quietly told her that she was waving it around like a giant penis. She got a little frustrated with herself and said "Oh, Grandma Katy is just so old and does dumb things. I didn't even think of it like that."

Another exchange student, a girl from Turkmenistan, who can barely speak English, said something like "I think even back then, people had penises." Of course the whole room was roaring, I was about to cry, and I still could not take the measuring stick away from her, even then, without it looking like I was grabbing her imaginary 39+ inch aluminum penis.

I thought it was over, and shared a laugh with the Principal when telling him about the incident. Then the videos started popping up. At least 3 kids took the risk of violating school policy and recorded the god awful horror. I didn't find the one that students were viewing on Youtube, but it's out there now unless the kids took it down since. After school I couldn't walk twenty feet without a kid busting out into laughter. Half of them gave me hugs or wanted to high five for how I handled it, while the others just broke out laughing when they saw me.

The uber-religious, the pothead crews, the jocks, the nerds, the foreign kids, everybody was watching the videos on their iPads or smart phones by the end of the day, and I fear what may have happened since.

How so?
you're dropping someone from a Christmas even a week before Thanksgiving?

I bet you have a Chrismas tree up already. (that is not a compliment.)

Wasn't taken as such. And you'd lose that bet, big time. There won't be a tree this year either.

There probably should have been a smiley face or something in my previous post to indicate not to take it too seriously, cause i think it came across as harsher than intended.

How about a Festivus pole?

Bud is all about the pole.

I think the goal is to have the assignments completed before the shopping season which begins on Black Friday...or actually on Thursday now, I guess.

Sure! Bend over.


Hmmmmmmm.