Can characters of the same point value use inspiring command on each other?

It says LOWER, so no. It has to be at least 1 point lower than the Inspiring Commander.

but do the feat cards add to the commandersd total? say losh cosmic boy with inspiring command is next to losh lightning lad would LL still take push? since both are 70 pts, but CB has IC feat on him?

Feats do not add to a figure's cost.

To add on to that: Feats add to your force's build total, not a single character's cost.