That's the problem though. You don't come off that way. Don't get me wrong, your unique voice is one that I look forward to in the clubhouse. But most of those characters would not be ones I would ever think to attribute to you.

[Chef voice]

Hello, Haven.

[/Chef voice]

See what I mean?

I use conditional verbs like crazy!

Can I lay down a bunch of quotes from Garrison Keeler about having a face for radio?

Does the lighting on Kevin Conroy's voice matter??

*Evil pi$$ed off stare*



Not. Even. Close.

Don't jump to conclusions. I don't know you, but I can clearly see your nuts.

So, it's a wussy fire?

Oh, I get it. You meant Chef for YOU.

That makes sense. I guess. Is your voice that deep and all?

DroppinButta(s)

Nah, that just looks funny.

That was the usual fire. Now when we were having a full on get-together, we would have what we called the "MOAB." (Mother of all bonfires) which was a 30' x 30'. We had to mow down part of the field and put it there because it was so big. But for putting a fire in a yard, it had to be limited to 5' x 5'. Gotta think of some safety! And that's why you use a mixture of diesel and kerosene. You get a good mix of flammability and combustibility.

Really?

I thought that when I said "any and every Muppet" someone was gonna slam me with Sam the Eagle!

And that's totally accurate from time to time.

I also think that readers project some of themselves into what they read. If you're expecting grumpy old guy, you see grumpy old guy.

Thanks for the info Jack! How's the new one-man show coming?!

No. Your name just fit better than mine and made more sense in my head.

Why would you be looking at them?

Fixed it for ya.

I can't speak for him, but at least I have an excuse.