Wish granted.

You broke the habit by becoming addicted to reruns of "I Love Lucy".


I wish I could pull a "Chilren of the Atom" from my next VS booster

Wish Granted.

However, your misprinted "Chilren of the Atom" card is deemed illegal for tournament play. You are forced to trade the card in for $0.10 of store credit.

I wish HCRealms would put up another incentive for donating.

Granted!


After donating, a large man with no neck named Tony Two Thumbs beats the ever loving snot out of you and burns down your house.


I wish I had a cheeseburger.

Wish granted.

Your cheeseburger is riddled with harmful bacteria, and you end up with a horrid case of encephalitis.

I wish I could win a game of clix using Mole Man.

Wish Granted.
Thugit shows up only with C-note and it's a 100 point game, you win by forfiet but then the venue burns down and everyone dies except for you leaving you no bragging rights.

I wish Thugit was here.

Wish granted.

He kicks you in the nads.

I wish I could pronounce "Mr mxyslpltysjzkssxk"... or at least spell it...

Wish granted.

You can now spell it, but don't know when the word ends. Have a nice eternity.

I wish I could get punched in the nads. (try and screw THAT one up!)

Wish granted.

Thugit punches you in the nads too. The force of the punch fractures your pelvis. Due to unexpected complications, you die on the operating table...
... but your cadaver is used in a research hospital and is instrumental in finding a cure for people who merge into traffic without indicating.

You get punched in the nads and realize you like it.

In fact, it becomes the only way you can ever experience any sort of pleasure.

I wish I had JonL's job.

Wish granted.

You assume JonL's position, after he abdicates to become El Presidente Guapo of the Northern Hemisphere. He raises taxes on anyone using the Batman logo on internet forums, and despite your increased salary, bankrupts you.

I wish my tooth would stop hurting

Wish granted.

You get hit by a bus and can no longer feel anything.

I wish I could see Spider-Man 3 right now.

Nice try. I still wish I had JonL's job.

You get to see Spider-Man 3, but the plot is based on the "Clone Saga." It also features a make-out scene between Mary Jane and Aunt May which you find disturbingly erotic.

I wish the current Batman comics were better written.

Wish granted.

The writing of the Batman comics is phenomenal - incredible use of both Two-Face and Killer Moth. Unfortunately, the art is now done by Bil Keane of the Family Circus, when he's pretending that 7-year-old Billy is actually drawing them.

I wish chocolate was nutritious.

Wish granted

Chocolate is now nutritious. It now also contains coca paste and each cubic cm has 6500 calories

I wish that the Squidward model on my computer would tell me what my destiny is