Special attack on Space Jawa!

After missing JK!

Because shtick is shtick, and this shtick done shtuck.

I'll take a gamble and rest!

After taking a couple spittoons and pouring the contents over JKLantern's head!

JackAssterson: 44 HP/20 FP (special attack hits)

JKLantern: 44 HP / 20 FP

Space Jawa: 0 HP/40 FP KNOCKED OUT

Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/44 FP (special attack hits)


The herd is gettin' purty thin!!!!

SPECIAL ATTACK FOR THIS TURN ONLY: Eat some spinach, watch muscles pump up into the shape of hammer and anvils, then throw a wicked uppercut!!! 20 FP to do this--it does 25 HP if it hits. But there's a 50% chance that you'll turn out to be allergic to spinach and take 5 HP of damage while you choke on it.

I'mma gonna try to grab Eight Aces and throw 'im out the window...but instead grab Ignatz Mouse and do it!

Ah'll hit JKLantrin wit' a chay-er agin!

Ah'm gonna hit Ignatz wiv a bottle!

After missing JK!

JackAssterson: 44 HP/18 FP

JKLantern: 34 HP / 10 FP

Ignatz Mouse: 43 HP/39 FP (loses turn)


No Special Attack this turn--no one capable of attacking can afford to do one.

Swing my chair, round and round, try to knock Assterson to the ground, miss and clobber Ignatz Mouse, reach into my hair and grab that louse! Do si do!

And I'll hit JKLantern *back* with a chair!

Can't. You've been windowed.

Well then, I describe how I'm *going* to.

Rolling fortitude save against pissing self. Roll fails.

JackAssterson: 44 HP/18 FP

JKLantern: 34 HP / 5 FP

Ignatz Mouse: 33 HP/39 FP


Guys, I'm heading off to Sudan in less than two weeks and will be very busy at work, so I'm afraid the sheriff is getting ready to arrive and bust up the fight.

But before that, you can all have one last chance to throw a knock-out punch. This costs 0 FP and knocks your opponent out if it hits. But there is a 50% chance of missing, stumbling, slamming into a wall and knocking yourself out.


Pick your target.

Swing at JK!

Then miss and hit Ignatz!

I'll knock out Jack!