Wish granted.

Squidward tells you your destiny. Unfortunately, you spontaneously combust before you can achieve it, and the world never achieves world peace.

I wish I could afford to see my family again

Granted. You win the lottery and enroute to see them your plane crashes in to another plane that was carrying your family on a suprise visit to see you.

I wish that Thugit had not made his was by proxy onto this thread. (Darn Thugites)

He doesn't... Unfortunately since he can't he decides its your fault & conjures Gday & family to haunt you for being such a sick guy as to have them all die...

I wish I was healthy, immortal, & filthy rich. Had all my family safe & had Superman powers.

Everything is great for you, so by comparison Everyone else life sucks and they kill them self. you are the only one left alive to wander the earth alone. With superman's powers...

I wish i was 1 year older

Wish granted....

But you're haunted for your filthy rich eternity by the Gdayfamily, who got creeped out by BadAxe1 after he started licking the ectoplasm off the walls. You never get a good night's sleep again.

I wish I wasn't a ghost.

Wish granted...
But in the process of aging one year in a matter of seconds, your hear and toeails grow alarmingly. Your big toenail catches on some carpet, you stumble, and your hair catches on a table and wrenches your neck. You're unable to face forward for the remainder of your life.

Wow. Of all the wierd things I've seen people mention me in the same breath as, this thread takes the cake.


Wish granted, by the way.

Wish granted

You are now a zombie. Enjoy the brains

I wish I could understand why people like Pollock's (sp?) paintings

Wish granted. You are now a pretentious art snob who really doesn't understand what you are looking at, but accept that it's art because everyone says so.

I wish that my cat wouldn't lick it's own nether regions then jump in my lap and try to lick my face.

Wish granted

You can now lick your own nether regions! (Oh, and you really enjoy licking your cat's face as well)

I wish the Simpsons was funny as it used to be a few seasons ago

Wish granted.

The show is the funniest it's ever been. Unfortunately, the cast holds out for a massive salary increase, the size of which means that Fox can only produce two five-minute episodes a year.

I wish I knew how to cook.

Wish granted

You realize that if you immerse yourself in a boiling cauldron you will cook up nicely in around 5-6 hours. Unfortunately you start to smell pretty tasty at around 3 hours and take a bite. If you weren't being boiled to death it would get infected and you would need to take antibiotics

I wish had some healthy snacks here at work

Sorry, make that "healthful". Healthy snacks are capable of fighting back!

Wish granted. You have an abundance of healthful snacks. But how can you eat... when you have no mouth, Mr. Ander, er, that is Mr. BigSoph. Mrs. BigSoph. Mz. BigSoph.

I wish that I didn't have to reply to married and unmarried women with a different title. How archaic.

No need to stand on formality. Big will do! (actually mr.)

Wish granted

Everyone is now identical in every way. Every player in Heroclix tournaments now run identical teams. Hey! This isn't supposed to be REAL!

I wish I didn't feel so old. Some high school kid called me sir...