Think of it this way: if we CAN team up with them, we can use THEM to slaughter the things that don't slaughter fun, and to get swag what makes slaughter more fun. I mean, Kamek is the Head Wizard. He could get you BOOM GLOVES OF DEATH!

If we CAN'T team up with them, well, the slaughter becomes messier, and therefore more fun. And then we TAKE their boom gloves of death.

I think the fact that you have a brain score of 1 may be the reason why.

I also fear that by trying to get lakitu before we do anything else may just cause your prediction to be self-surving.

You guys aren't even thinking about the complexities of running an army here.

First we would need to appoint a general (me, obviously).

Then we'd need some kind of chain of command. I don't even know who we'd rock there, that just get political and complicated.

Then we'd have troops demanding things, like more rations, and sleep, and breaks from marching. Ugh! Who wants to deal with that? Annoying.

And on top of all that, if some random Koopa Troopa kills another random Koopa Troopa, I don't get any XP! Instead of the two XP I could get, I would get zero XP. How am I supposed to learn to battle with the ambient powers of my muscle if I don't get XP?

Simple. You get the XP from slaughtering the offending NPC cannon fodder minions who are inevitably bound to do something wrong.

Alright, if you kids want to try diplomacy can I at least try and intimidate the invading army with karate?

Kick the Lakitu's ###. I will attempt to learn to operate the cloud (brains) so we can have air support.

I hate Lakitus.

Yeah, me too.

Jerks, the lot of 'em.

I'm not really sure that trying to demand they tell us what they're up to is going to work if other people are attacking. They'll be more focused on defending themselves. Or counterattacking.

Also, do I have any hammer brother hammers or not?

They fall under what I call the Jingling The Keys rule.

If it's not bolded, you can pretty much take it and use it without qualm. Too much qualm. Much qualm. It (probably) won't have a huge game effect, but it can potentially make things more interesting.

In other words, yeah. You got your hammer. S.

Wait, I just had a thought.

Wade, charm the chain chomp (schmooze).

Pax, once it's charmed, try to successfully get the chain removed from its post (body).

Thus, we can have a couple armed party members.

Ok, he'll need a bowling ball, a length of chain, some lipstick, a small dress (bowling ball size) and loose morals.

Sounds like my last date, actually...

Ok, got everything but the first 4...

*Sigh*

Guess I might as well try for it anyway.

I will impersonate Bower's voice to shout over the top of the hill "I demand an explanation as to what is going on here!" (Shmooze, Attribute: Man of a Million-and-One Voices) I'm trying to get someone to reveal information.

Action Roll
4,1 (Shmooze) + 1 (Attribute: Man of a Million-and-One Voices), 6 (11 with base Shmooze score).

Well, that roll could have gone better.

How would you like me to use my ginormous brain and ego, fearless leader?