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It's our lot in life. We help others with this #### almost flawlessly, but can't get it taken care of ourselves. The reason: We're too flustered when it's our turn. I've got my venustraphobia to contend with (although to a much smaller degree than it once was), and you're dead. My brain activity hits an all time low when it's my turn to try and court someone, and the drive home will usually be filled with self-hatred and regret for the stupid, STUPID things I'd say.
One thing that always stays with me: When girls say, "Why would you say that?"
Because I'm smitten and ######## as a result! Is it really so tough to figure out that when I'm red in the face, looking around the room for something my brain can latch onto, shifting my feet rapidly, and stuttering like a jackhammer, that I just might not come up with something terribly insightful and awesome to say?
Last two times a girl got interested in me, they got interested because they read what I wrote. The second girl, I even told her that I wasn't nearly as insightful in person. I warned her damn it all!!!
"Why are you stuttering?"
Because you're pretty! You think I got out of a freezer or something?
Grrr....one of these days, I'm just gonna blurt something like that out. Then we'll really be in trouble.
That's probably the best thing you could reply with.
That stuff was rough when we had to go through it for my mom. I don't wish it on anyone. You'll pull through though, Shel. You're a strong woman.
Oh, it sucks, but I know we'll get through it. I'm becoming a pro it seems. When I was in high school, a close friend who about 5 years older than me passed away from AIDS complications. His funeral was hard as hell for me. I was 16.
I lived my Grandparents almost my whole life. My Grandma raised me while my Mom worked her ### off as a single parent. Pop died roughly 4 1/2 years ago. His family took care of all of the arrangements.
3 months after he passed, my Aunt's husband passed and my Mom and I helped her get through that. I made most of the food for his Memorial. Same thing when my Grandmother passed away 2 1/2 years ago. That was the hardest thing I ever went through in my life. She was the single closest person to me in my entire life. I was wrecked.
A good number of people here can attest to that, especially the HomoClixuals. They really helped keep me sane by letting me vent. I <3 those guys. I need to make a better effort of posting in there. I forget because I chat with so many on Facebook nowadays anyway, lol.
What, am I normal or not?
Am I crazier than other patients?
Right, I've done everything right.
So where's the karma, doc? I've lost my patience.
On a completely unrelated to anything else note, I got a packet in Shaunie's folder today talking about their Walkathon for CHOP on May 7th. I figure I haven't had a charity auction or anything fun like that in awhile, so why not? I don't have much stuff to auction off, but I was thinking I could auction off some cookies again.
Any thoughts on said subject?
What, am I normal or not?
Am I crazier than other patients?
Right, I've done everything right.
So where's the karma, doc? I've lost my patience.
On a completely unrelated to anything else note, I got a packet in Shaunie's folder today talking about their Walkathon for CHOP on May 7th. I figure I haven't had a charity auction or anything fun like that in awhile, so why not? I don't have much stuff to auction off, but I was thinking I could auction off some cookies again.