Then you have the last laugh.

Clearly she's gotten fat and will never find a new man.


(Also, rumor has it that cookies cause women to grow neckbeards.)

You do realize I have to sleep with this person right? Oh well...at least I have Heroclix.

Until she sells them for more cookies....

Luckily I keep my Heroclix in the same room as the exercise equipment. She never goes in there.

Sounds like you need the Mistress Battle Field Condition or the Divorce Feat. Nobody gets away with eating all the cookies...nobody.

QFE! Sadly, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to robedestroyer again." Grrrr...

BTW, not to hijack the thread even further, but I've been wanting to ask you: Why exactly do you destroy robes? Some kind of personal vendetta?

Outwit her Plasticity, then roll for Break Away. If you fail, get one of your buddies to take an action for a Theam Team Prob roll. Run! RUN!!!!

My bad...I thought your earlier messages implied that your marriage had disolved and she took all of the cookies in the process. If she's still your wife, there's not much to do but tell her to get back in the kitchen and bake some more cookies like a good woman should do.

Link forwarded to Mrs. Harpua

Note to self...filter the wife's email before unlocking the stove-shackles for her 15 minutes of net-time tonight.

Best. Thread. Ever.

Oh so SHE'S the one that keeps emailing those cries for help. Don't worry I got your back. They just go to my spam filter and I delete them right away.

CURSES! Foiled again!

WHAT do you mean AGAIN...?....Harpua has a set of shackles for you too..

Nah...the other times it was those meddling kids.