I am here, but I am... uncertain... of who is the best girl. I may need to think on this.

You know who you need to vote for.

Vote Kirei for Best Girl 2016.

Informative video here

Still your mouth, Gorgon. My brethren chopped that head once and I am very happy to do it over.
If I am picking a Grecian beauty I Vote: Caster as she has the much more bountiful bosom.

We can settle this by declaring whoever can eat the spiciest food to be best girl.

Dhalsim's daughter wins?
Who was the chick that mooches off of Kiritsugu's place? She looks like she could handle a spicy meatball or two.

Or just go with the clear and obvious choice: Rin.

I'm with Her - Rin for Best Girl 2016.

Until you betray her. I know just enough of the story to know that.
Make me an offer for my vote.

And what interests you, berserker? Is there some piece of information about this War you would like to know? As head of the Tohsaka family, Rin has access to many bits of knowledge you might find useful. Facts about this war, or questions about those participating in it?

This is true, my bosom is most bountiful.

Saaaaay-beeeerrrrr... Come out and Plaaaaaaayyyyyyy...

I am curious where Saber is though.

I mean, she's no best girl so I'm not super worried.

Day 1

The dark haired girl sits at her desk deep in thought when the red cloaked knight materializes behind her. She looks over her should and gives him a sly smile.

"I've been thinking, Archer. You're a ghost, aren't you?"

"The technical term is Counter Guardian but you're already aware of that. What are you getting at, Rin?"

"One of the basic rules of the universe is that people die when they are killed."

The red knight cringes.

"But yet here you are. Just think of the implications. If you can be brought back, anyone could, theoretically."

"The only implication is that between the Holy Grail and you providing me with mana, my soul can inhabit the vessel of an Archer."

"Hmm, that's true. To resurrect a human, you would need to have a vessel for their soul like a doll or an article of clothing. It would require strong alchemical knowledge to perform a ritual like that. Of course, there's always the battle continuation skill and true immortality."

"All abilities that we lack."

The dark haired girl shrugs. "So some people could come back after being killed but only under very specific circumstances. Of course, once someone is dead for good, there's no way to talk to them."

"That appears to be the case, master." The red cloaked knight reaches over her and places a necklace with a pink crystal on the end on the girl's desk. "Are we going to talk about what happened earlier?"

"No, we are not."




Earlier...

I stay late at school cleaning the archery dojo. I step outside. It's already dark. Hearing the sounds of metal clanging against metal, I turn to see two men fighting in the courtyard.

One is dressed in blue with a blue ponytail (anime, right?) and a red spear. The other is dressed in black with a long red coat. His hair is white and he wields a pair of short swords. I get an instant erection, even though I'm straight. That's how awesome the guy in red is.

Their duel is almost too fast for my eyes to follow, a whirling dance of death between two invincible warriors, one of whom makes me question my sexuality. The door shuts loudly behind me and both fighters turn to look at me.

"Who goes there?" the blue one demands with a sneer. The red one fades away like a ghost, an awesome, sexy ghost.

Following my policy of avoiding people with pointed sticks, I turn and run back inside. After a few minutes, I'm exhausted so I stop running. I turn around and see no sign of the spearman chasing after me.

"Yo."

I turn around again and the spearman impales me. That's not a euphemism, by the way. Pointed stick right through the heart.

"Not your lucky day, kid. Nobody's supposed to see me. I know it's not very heroic to kill you like this but my new master's a twisted son of a #####."

I don't hear him, though, cause I'm already unconscious.

Hours later, I awaken at home. My wound is healed and I'm clutching a necklace with a pink crystal on the end. I tuck it into my shirt cause it's probably important to the plot.

The spearman in blue crashes through my window. "It's not often I have to kill the same guy twice in one night."

I grab a poster from the table and hold it in front of me, using the only spell I know to strengthen it. "Trace on." The spearman tries to stab me again but this time I block his attack with a paper poster that's as hard as steel.

"Healing factor? Strengthening magic? If you keep pulling new powers out of your ass, this might be a fun fight after all." He spends the next ten minutes kicking my butt across the house. "Guess not. You're pretty bad at this, aren't you?"

"Quit trying to kill me!" I shout as I run away. Savor this moment as I'll be spending the rest of the game charging into danger like the ####ing moron I am.

I manage to make it outside and to the shed. Blood from my wounds falls on the floor, lighting up a magic circle that was put there in the prequel, not that I notice. I'm too distracted by how this whole situation is such bull####. This blue guy can't kill me. I have to become a hero. That's the promise I made my father.

The magic circle on the floor glows. The spearman breaks through the door. A red mark like a tattoo appears on my hand. Through gritted teeth, I say "I swear I won't die here. I'll do whatever it takes to survive. I won't be killed by a bastard like you!"

The spearman thrusts but his attack is deflected by an invisible blade. A blonde woman in armor steps between us.

"Saber?" The spearman asks in disbelief. He nopes out of there real quick. The armored woman turns to me.

"Are you worthy...to be my master?"

Probably not.

Day 1 has ended. You have 24 hours to get in your night actions.


I swear not every writeup will be this long.

Night 1

A foreigner in a black jacket walks into the church with a smile on his face. "Best girl. You mongrels never cease to amuse me. Tell me, Kirei. Who is best girl so far?"

The fake priest smiles warmly."So far? Kotomine Kirei is best girl."





"Explain to me again what we're doing out so late," I ask the armored woman.

"We are hunting Lancer so that we can kill him and win the Holy Grail War," she answers.

"I don't know what that is but I don't think we should be trying to kill anybody, even if they did try to kill us first."

The armored woman sighs. "Shirou, have you seen Battle Royale?"

I shake my head.

"Most Dangerous Game?"

"Nope."

"Avengers Arena? Twisted Metal? Hunger Games?"

"I like watching the food network."

The blue spearman leaps down from a rooftop. "Listen, lady. I'm not really in the mood for another fight. It's been an exciting enough evening already."

The armored woman draws her invisible blade. "If it's peace you want, Lancer, you should not have attacked my master."

The spearman twirls his demonic spear. "Fine. Be that way. If it's a fight you want, Saber, let's see what you've got!"

I decide to sit this battle out cause I've been stabbed enough today.





The dark haired girl checks the pink haired woman's body.

"Bazett McRemitz was a respected member of the Mages Association and not a native to Japan. The only reason for her to be here is to compete in the Holy Grail War."

"Then is it safe to assume one of the servants has already been removed from the competition?" the red cloaked knight asks.

"No. My contacts at the Mages Association say McRemitz was Lancer's master and he's still active. Additionally, there's no sign of a battle between servants, here. This looks like assassination. Whoever killed McRemitz must have taken Lancer for himself. We should ask Kirei after school tomorrow. If anyone knows more about what happened to her, it's that annoying fake priest."





Day 2 begins. You have 24 hours to determine who you will lynch. Please bold votes for lynch and votes for best girl.

Saber is best girl.

Sorry I missed the first day phase, I didn't realize this had opened.