I was nervous about the Deviants walking into the film. Kirby’s first take on them -genetically unstable, evil sub-humans, was unintentionally racist, and subsequent writers leapt to nuance them as just another race; albeit one with unique pros and cons. Zhao sidesteps that by making the Deviants proto-Eternals, sent to guide planets to technological ascendency. Their genes were unstable, and as they slaughtered predators, they became ever-more-dangerous predators themselves.

While I think they work fine in the early sections of the film, especially in Druig drawing comparisons between them and the Eternals -two sides of the same coin- they never actually become a sympathetic, sentient race. They remain bestial monsters, obstacles to be destroyed -or, at their most interesting, Ikaris’ murder weapon in what is actually an epic murder mystery movie.

Even when Kro, the Deviant alpha, absorbs Gilgamesh, it’s unclear if he’s displaying true sentience or if he’s projecting aspects of Gilgamesh & Ajax’s personas as a hunting method, like the creatures in ANNIHILATION (2018). It felt to me that the Deviants, just as much pawns to the Celestials as the Eternals, deserved a happier ending, perhaps even to team up with the Eternals against Ikaris, who’d be depicted as even more impossibly overpowered.

Are the Deviants an overcomplication, though? I personally didn’t think so, but in a movie that’s this full of big characters whose personalities, histories, and choices are expounded upon to varying degrees of implication and shorthand, they needed a stronger resolution than they got to feel like a vital part of the story rather than something that was unfinished. As is, they took a lot of criticism for looking generic, which I simply don’t buy.



#079 Deviant
Team: No Affiliation
Range: 0
Points: 50
Keywords: Monster, Cosmic, Past

9 10 18 3

8 11 17 2

8 11 18 2

7 11 18 2

7 10 17 2

KO KO KO KO

9 10 18 3

8 11 17 2

8 11 18 2

7 11 18 2

7 10 17 2

KO KO KO KO

The Celestials' Failure: When Deviant KOs an opposing character, +1 Combat Stats for the rest of the game.
Ever Evolving: A Side: Charge & Plasticity. B Side: & Hypersonic Speed.
No Two the Same: A Side: Blades/Claws/Fangs & Steal Energy. B Side: Quake & Steal Energy.
Apex Predators: A Side: Empower & Exploit Weakness. B Side: Empower & Giant Reach: 3.

Of all the characters, I was the most disappointed by Kro, who is one of my favorite characters in the Eternals comics. in them, Kro is the most prominent Deviant, a complicated warlord who is equal parts cruel and terrifying to his enemies as he is passionate about advancing the quality of Deviant life. A complicated figure, he’s also romantically involved with Thena (my favorite comics Eternal), and has had children with her.

The trailers showed Kro ensnaring Thena in her tentacles and caressing her tenderly in a way that suggested a forbidden romance between them. I’d been looking forward to that as the presumed midpoint of the film when the Eternals learned that their crusade against the Deviants was, in fact, genocide, and the unjust whims of a cruel, unknowable god. Even more interesting if the Deviants were the native life form of Earth and the Eternals & humanity’s encroachment was akin to colonialism. That would be in line with Zhao’s previous films after all.

I can’t fault the film for not being what I’d hoped, but I still admit disappointment.

As I mentioned earlier, Kro’s sudden involvement in the already-sprawling final battle felt like one complication too many, effectively splitting the battle in three (the brawl against Ikaris, Sersi’s journey, and Thena’s cat-and-mouse hunt against Kro). It felt like an unnecessary complication just to keep Thena from making the fight against Ikaris too easy. Thena’s confrontation with Kro is still emotive, interesting, and thematically resonant, but it can’t help but feel a little tonally dissonant and unnecessary compared to the rest of the battle.



#080 Kro
Team: No Affiliation
Range: 0
Points: 100
Keywords: Deviant, Cosmic, Past

9 11 18 5

8 11 17 5

8 11 17 4

9 11 18 4

8 11 18 3

8 11 17 3

7 11 18 3

7 11 17 3

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

Ajax's Healing: At the beginning of your turn, roll 1d6. 1-3, heal 1 Click; 4-6, heal 2 Clicks.
The Celestials' Failure: Leadership. // When Kro KOs an opposing character, +1 Combat Stats for the rest of the game.
Snaring Tendrils: Charge, Flurry, and Plasticity.
A New Tier: STOP. Invincible. Kro cannot heal beyond this point. If he would, instead give him +1 Combat Stats until the beginning of your next turn.

Yeah, I was definitely surprised at how little Kro mattered in the end, and further, what a waste of Bill Skarsgard he was. They kept building him up, and in the end, he really didn’t amount to much. It was a shame.

It’s incredibly uncommon for an MCU movie to end on a cliffhanger like this does. Looking at the list, only INFINITY WAR, SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME (though I count that more as a Sony movie), and LOKI S1 legitimately did so. I take it as Zhao setting herself up for a sequel in the most obvious way she possibly can.

So how about the mid & post credits?! Wow, those were the most exciting teases I’ve seen in an MCU movie for quite some time. Teasing Starfox and the Titan Eternals? Fascinating as hell, especially with Harry Styles giving the role some class. Showing the Ebony Blade looking hungry for souls? Sweet. Goddamn Blade’s voice over it? F***ing sweet. Can’t wait. Give me all the Marvel horror. Give it to me now.

As to Kit Harrington’s Dane Whitman, many critics blasted the character’s blasé reaction to the discovery of Sersi’s true nature, and to that I say, “did you even watch the movie?” Whitman is depicted as an emotionally evasive poet, one who is sentimental and sincere, but who masks any and all distress with understatement and humor. Of course he’s going to underplay his insecurity about Sersi’s powers. Of course he’s going to mask his insecurity about her and Ikaris. Of course he’s going to downplay nearly being eaten and the fact that the world’s about to end. Watch Harrington’s expressions; his words do not line up with what the character is really emoting.

And that sort of encapsulates my suspicion for THE ETERNALS; it’s an ambitious blockbuster that asks much more of its audience than its peers do in a way that’s different than its peers’ approaches. ETERNALS demands a deep read of its actors’ performances and the subtleties of their dialogue and a full embrace of its conceit and mode. I suspect this is going to be a divisive film in its day, but heartily reevaluated in the years to come as an underappreciated masterpiece.



#081 Dane Whitman
Team: No Affiliation
Range: 0
Points: 30
Keywords: Warrior

6 9 13 0

6 9 13 0

6 9 13 0

6 10 17 1

5 10 17 1

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

Sersi's Mortal Lover: Dane Whitman doesn't break theme on Eternals-themed teams.
Ebony Blade: Blades/Claws/Fangs, Exploit Weakness, and Steal Energy.

As of writing, ETERNALS is performing modestly at the box office, something to be expected for being banned in several countries, China among them (for viewing Zhao as a defector). Its has the lowest Cinemascore, a B, of any MCU film, and mixed-to-positive word of mouth. I suspect that we’ll someday see a sequel, but it might be a much different animal, like THOR: RAGNAROK was from THOR: THE DARK WORLD.

Chloe Zhao is currently set to direct a sci-fi, post-apocalyptic Dracula film for Universal, and there are already rumblings that she might be picked to direct the Star Wars film that Kevin Feige is developing.

Either way, I hope she gets many more chances to make blockbusters, and I hope we get our next visit to the Eternals' universe sooner than later.

Eternals definitely is a more subtle kind of movie than the genre gets - and really does require you to keep your brain active.

Funny how the Snyderbro criticism of Marvel movies is that they’re too kid-friendly, yet here comes Eternals that’s actually mature, not just the adolescent idea of mature. I guess maybe Ikaris should have dropped an f-bomb?

That's the funny thing, SO many critics said ETERNALS was "Marvel's DC movie," which I think is a shallow response to the film's tone and visuals. Like, "oh, it's got showier cinematography, moodiness, and superheroes? That's like Zack Snyder."

The funnier thing is that Zhao has said in interviews that Zack Snyder's Superman was a major influence on Ikaris, which explains a lot. This caused Snyderbros on social media to briefly resurrect the "RestoretheSnyderVerse" hashtag and taunt MCU fans, saying Marvel needed Snyder's vision. Sad thing is, I feel like Zhao's choice is more saying "why is this guy acting really dark, stilted, and withdrawn instead of acting like Superman?"

I love your dials for Eternals… it’s kind of funny the set hasn’t come out yet so you were able to do your own thing for then without any influence… hopefully the actual set is anywhere near as interesting

Will you be doing a dial for the celestial that appears in the film?

Many thanks, friend! Glad that these dials are satisfying. I was damn excited for the film and was so pleased that it made each character rich and interesting. Made doing the dialing super fun!

Having seen that tease of official set Sersi's trait, I'm excepting something that leans closer to the comics, but has a few mechanics-for-mechanics'-sake gimmick traits across the board.

Haha I'd planned to dial the Celestials when I thought they were Galactus-sized, but having seen how gargantuan and omnipotent they are, I don't know if I dial could represent them well. Even a finger could be an entire map... so I think the best option would be to make a custom map for them, one with unique battlefield conditions like...

"After all players have had a turn, roll 1d6:
1: Characters occupying clear terrain take 1 unavoidable damage.
2-3: Characters occupying water terrain take 1 unavoidable damage
4-5: Characters occupying hindering terrain take 1 unavoidable damage.
6: All characters take 1 unavoidable damage.

OR, any force may spend 2 Actions, either between characters or as a Double Power Action to prevent their force from being affected from this condition."

...or something like that. The idea would be to emulate the ticking clock of emergence and to make preventing damage be a tactical -non-combatant- choice.

Yeah, I can’t even fathom what a film-accurate dial for Arishem would even look like, but a map conveying the Emergence of Tiamut could work.

HAWKEYE

Episodes One & Two

Stuff I Liked:
+David Aja art montage of Bishop’s backstory.
+Bishop as bumbling Hawkeye fangirl & disaffected rich kid.
+Hawkeye as annoyed with his fame and beleaguered by fans, especially NYC LARP.
+lol, the tacky Steve Rogers musical.
+Vera Farmiga in her second shared universe (Conjuringverse!).
+goofy tracksuit mafia.

Stuff I Didn’t Like:
-That this is our first true street-level, mostly unpowered MCU thing.

HAWKEYE’s first two episodes are a blast, contextualizing Kate’s and NYC’s hero-worship of Hawkeye with the Battle for New York, presenting an epic, animated origin for her by way of David Aja’s art from the iconic Fraction/Aja run, and following that with a buddy action-comedy Christmastime thriller. I’d say it had a Shane Black vibe, but it’s not snarky and obnoxious enough.

As far as I can tell, there’s nothing to criticize in a major way. This is the first MCU show that feels like it’s appropriately paced in terms of its momentum and conceit. It feels like a TV show as opposed to an event or a movie trying to act like a show. Its drama is well-written and propulsive, its action feels intense and inventive, and its cinematography is movie-quality. Better than MCU movie quality, going by how much seems to be shot in location as opposed to digitally constructed.

My complaints are personal. 1) I wasn’t a fan of this comics run, so I feel weird that I’m digging this show. 2) I’m galled that this is our first official street-level, low-powered MCU thing. The Netflix shows didn’t count. I wish it was Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, Moon Knight, Shang-Chi, Punisher, or Jessica Jones -someone with a more storied history of low-scale, comparatively low-stakes crimefighting. It frustrates me that we probably will never again get that with Spider-Man or the others above. And that’s because 3) I don’t mind Hawkeye, but apart from leading the Thunderbolts, he’s never been one of my faves.

Episode Three

Stuff I Liked:
+Damn, what a fight scene
+Damn, what a car chase
+Kingpin(?) tease
+Echo backstory
+Zahn McClarnon! I love that actor from WESTWORLD!
+Hearing aid's involvement throughout action setpieces
+Meditation on Hawkeye not being a hero.

Stuff I Didn't Like
-TBD

Another week, another strong episode. This one had fantastic, rollicking, frontloaded action with a car chase paying homage to CHILDREN OF MEN (that long take might as well be a thumbprint). In and after the action, the show remained dramatically grounded and propulsive, deftly balancing tones and foreshadowing Hawkeye's guilt and what actions he might take. I'm interested to see where this goes.

Episoe Four

Stuff I Liked:
+Hawkeye taping mixer packets to himself
+Discussion about Ronin
+Yelena in her Thunderbolts outfight
Stuff I Didn't Like:
-Deflated tension from the previous episode's cliffhanger
-Kate chilling about Jacques for scene/tone demands
-Slow pace for Christmas decorating
-Copaganda with the LARPers

HAWKEYE continues to be a slick, tonally consistent show, but this episode low-key frustrated me. The previous episode ended with a sword at Hawkeye's neck, and rather than following through with that tension, the show immediately deflated it for an awkward dinner table comedy scene and Kate relenting toward Jacques (it's all in her body language and laughter). Kate & Hawkeye's Christmas montage, while fun, didn't keep up a tense comedy-thriller vibe like the tenor of the show would suggest. Like, I think this is a Hallmark version of KISS KISS BANG BANG, but where the tension should be gradually, steadily rising, it's roller coasting in a way that feels inappropriate for its genre and story goals.

I felt the low point of the episode was Kate asking the LARPers -all first responders and cops, we're told- to give her police evidence. The Cop Woman doesn't question Kate, her appearance, or how outwardly crazy the request is; she just says sure, I'm a nice cop, I'll break the law for you in plain view of all these witnesses. The same goes for the scene when Cop Woman hands over the arrows. It's a cutesy, I-can't-give-you-this-bag-because-my-wife-gave-it-to-me-and-see-how-human-and-approachable-I-am beat that just doesn't sit well with me.

America's in a climate of rising police violence, and after the murder of George Floyd, the world's more aware than ever of corrupt, racist police chapters throughout the country. What makes these scenes particularly uncomfortable for me is that Ronin, in the MCU, is known in ENDGAME and HAWKEYE for murdering cartels, yakuza gangs, and immigrant gangs, not unlike the Punisher's brand of vigilante justice. If you aren't aware how MANY police and White Supremacists have co-opted the Punisher skull, look it up. Punisher co-creator Gerry Conway is currently trying to reclaim the skull and decry its current usage for that reason. It's why you probably won't see Punisher in the MCU anytime soon. The scenes whitewash a very real societal evil, and I don't think it's morally appropriate, nor do I think the lack of conflict is narratively appropriate.

That said, the show is aware that Ronin isn't a hero... or at least Hawkeye says as much when he broods over it. He hasn't shown any real culpability for his crimes -and they are crimes; just a sense of grim remorse. His wife doesn't appear to feel any particular way toward it.

Beyond that, I was happy to see Yelena return. I'd been looking forward to her fighting Clint, so seeing her dressed like her comic book Thunderbolts appearance was a thrilling nod. ...but the only thing that bums me out there is I REALLY don't want the Thunderbolts to try to rehabilitate USAgent. Same deal as the LARPer-Cops; it's presenting White supremacy as a rational alterative when that's really, REALLY dangerous.

Episode Five

Stuff I Liked:
+Yelena's blip
+Kate & Yelena
+Kingpin reveal
+Eleanor reveal

Stuff I Didn't Like:
-maybe some pacing stuff.

All in all, another solid episode. This one felt more substantive than the preceding episode, even if it was mostly Yelena talking with Kate. But here's the thing: that was the best part. Steinfield is amazing, no doubt, but Pugh as Yelena steals her every scene, bringing with her such writ-large authenticity as Natasha's dorky, blunt younger sister who just wants to have a genuine relationship with everybody. I can't wait to see more scenes with her. In fact, just give Pugh her own movie. Now. Yep, I enjoyed the Vincent D'Onofrio reveal, though after FAR FROM HOME's copious leaks and the actor's twitter behavior, I'm not surprised. Part of me loathes that Kingpin gets introduced in a Hawkeye show of all things, but I can't blame Marvel for wanting to keep what few things worked about the Netflix shows.

Sidenote, have you ever compared the Netflix shows to other Netflix shows? It's startling how slow, cheap, and drab the Marvel shows are compared to everything. Just imagine if IRON FIST had the level of talent and care behind it that something like LOST IN SPACE has. Hell, imagine if all the shows but DAREDEVIL and JESSICA JONES hadn't sh*t the bed (well, both of their second seasons did too...). We might be having a wildly different conversation now, considering the tension between Marvel Studios & Marvel Television.

Again, I'm starting to really feel how this show might've worked well as a movie, functioning like a tighter Christmas thriller like KISS KISS BANG BANG, LETHAL WEAPON, or DIE HARD. Arguably, you'd lose some of the funnier scenes, but you'd make up for it with a movie MADE of hard diner conversations and action scenes like the toy store fight and car chase. Anyway, looking forward to the finale!

Episode Six

Things I Liked:
+Kingpin in comic accurate costume
+Kingpin's Hawaiian getup
+The owl
+MOAR YELENA

Things I Didn't Like:
-The Tracksuit Massacre
-Unsatisfying Hawkeye character arc

Alright, explosive finale episode where all the balls tossed up into the air come crashing down on the heads on the main characters. If you came for over the top Christmas action, you came to the right place. Kate vs. Yelena! Yelena vs. Hawkeye! Hawkeye vs. Tracksuits! Tracksuits vs, Kate! Kate vs, Kingpin! And more! The wide variety in types of combat, stunts, gags, and callbacks make this a crowd-pleaser that's genuinely fun to watch. Florence Pugh continues to rule as Yelena, stealing the show from everyone along with Vincent D'Onofrio's Kingpin. I love how Kingpin's whole theme is Hawaiian and tropical -visually out of step with every other character (Unless "Mele Kalikimaka" occurred to you).

Ultimately, I was disappointed with the show's pivot away from Hawkeye's story of culpability, just as WANDAVISION avoided holding Wanda accountable for mindraping a town for months. Hawkeye was a brutal killer, both as a sanctioned SHIELD agent and as the unsanctioned Ronin, dealing murderous extrajudicial punishment to all kinds of people -and as ENDGAME showed us, lots of non-White people. So this show that is nominally about him trying to run from his past instead fixates on changing his brand to something more family friendly? So it's about instead of forcing Kate to grow beyond him helping her grow into him by -after five episodes of saying otherwise- agreeing that, yes, he is a hero? So it's about Clint just getting past those holiday blues and getting home with his family for Christmas?

I think it's a cop out.

I felt like everything was driving to Clint having to face responsibility for the murders -the show makes a point of classifying his actions as such- he committed. This was the moment for him to die at either Yelena's or Maya's hands. Instead of this, however, after all this time about how his murderous actions as Ronin were wrong, he and Kate Bishop murder scores of Tracksuit Mafia guys like it's no problem. Jack does the same. So do the LARPers, probably.

It's mixed messaging and it ultimately leaves me feeling uncomfortable. Vigilante murder is only ok as long as none of the victims have family members who might get their own spinoff series. ::coughs::Echo::coughs::

I quite enjoyed the first 2 episodes of Hawkeye. I particularly enjoyed how reasonable Clint was to Kate. I feel like these hero/fan to mentor/mentee relationships often start with the hero being a lot more dismissive, so this was nice. I also like that Clint has his hearing problem from the comics now. Representation and all that.

I’m in a somewhat similar boat to you with regards to the David Aja art. I never actually read those comics, but I still find myself enjoying all the references this show has to that run, especially that training sequence.

As for street-level hero’ing, we’ll probably get more of that with Moon Knight and Kamala “Crystals?!” Khan. (Side note: Have you heard about the Ms. Marvel crystal thing?).
As for street-level Spider-Man, maybe we’ll get that if the MCU ever makes it far enough to introduce Miles Morales as a mentee of Peter’s.

Haha I did see the crystals thing, and I am sorry, my friend. I know Ms. Marvel is one of your faves, and that you'd probably prefer her powers acting more traditionally. I do hope that show is good, regardless of its inaccuracy. I wonder if they've given her crystals as a way to differentiate her from Mr. Fantastic in the upcoming Fantastic Four movie?

Hmmm... depending on how you look at it, you could say that ENTER THE SPIDER-VERSE was Miles' mentorship under a Spider-Man. I think I'd prefer just to see live-action Miles go right to crime-fighting as opposed to operating in tandem with another Peter Parker, but that might just be me.

TBH, I'm real hot and cold on legacy characters. On one hand, I'd much rather see original characters rather than mantles passed, as it often feels like gatekeeping to me -even if it's not in the narrative; it's like subtextually the character is only justified by their proximity to the OG character. That said, I get how it's important for all people to be able to envision themselves as all characters. "Why can't X by Y character?" kind of deal. That's important too.

At this point, I only really see Daredevil potentially being a street-level character. Rumor has it that Moon Knight will be the MCU's first anti-monster character, which suggests that his adventures will be grander scale than his origins. I think that's a net positive, because although I loved some of that character's stories, most of those stories have been damn problematic.

Thanks.

See, that's part of what makes Kamala Khan interesting as a legacy character. Her powers are completely different from her predecessor. Carol and the rest of the Marvels are all energy manipulators in one form or another, and then we have Kamala with body altering Polymorph powers.
This means Kamala took up Carol's mantle out of respect for her as a hero, not because she just had similar powers or a shared history. It makes it more meaningful, if you ask me.

Now, with this crystal thing, I feel like they're moving her closer to Carol. Sure, it's crystals rather than energy, but now she projects power from her body, instead of changing her body. It's a step in the wrong direction, and it's visually much closer to Carol's MCU visuals.
The tweaked logo they made for the series even looks like a stretchy character's logo. (The accuracy of her costume is great, btw. No complaints on that particular front.)

And if they're really just doing this to make Mr. Fantastic more special, then that's just laughable. If we can have Iron Man, War Machine and Rescue, as well as Ant-Man, Wasp and Stinger/Stature (and presumable Hulk and She-Hulk), then we can have two stretchy characters, too. Kamala's typical fighting style is more like Giant-Man's anyway, and Reed is more about his brain than his actual powers.

Of course, the show can still be good. The character can still be accurate, personality-wise. But it's just frustrating.
It's particularly a shame that this will most likely remove the shape shifting segment of her origin, where her early hero career had her masquerading as Carol Danvers, so that she "looked like a hero". That was a great setup for an empowering moment, where she accepted her own face could be the face of a hero.

But nope, crystals. How is her battle cry of "Embiggen!" going to fit with crystal summoning?
Of course, I'm biased towards size-changing, but even putting that aside, I still think changing her powers so significantly for her live action debut and MCU adaptation is the wrong choice.

And I'm terrified that comic Kamala will suddenly go through an event to lose her Polymorph powers and gain these crystal powers instead.

Did you intend to give Kingo 1 range for his double power action? Because that's how it reads right now.

I kinda saw it as a choice to recreate that moment where he got right underneath a Deviant and obliterated it point-blank.