This is true. (I also forget that the cap for Texas Pete's hot sauce is one of those flip-type deals that controls the flow of the spice... so I unscrew the cap and drench my wings in the sauce. No biggie, just means I need more napkins.) (Go ahead, hoff, you know you want to edit this.)

Oh no, no, no. I rarely drink but I would never disrespect rum in such a manner.


The poop scorpion on it!

It's kind of a disgusting and tragic thought, but what if the rum was of exquisite taste, but only Spike's "tap" was the source?
ugh.

"But why is the rum gone?" - Captain Vlad Sparrow, to pizzaburger

Who wants a poopya colada?

Useless post.

Pretty much all that is expected.

The best part of waking up, is a colon clearing dump. #FolgersDump

Scorpion story...

I was about to punch out a little kid at the insectarium this past weekend. The little brat kept on pointing out the camouflaged insects. Dammit, I wanted to find them myself! It's like giving away where's waldo.

Throat punch!


You can also just step on their (always) untied shoes and wait for them to walk away, then fall. (Not saying I have done this, but not saying I have not.) Ok, I have done this.

The worst part was that I was in MOntreal so the kid was speaking french. "ici, le (scorpion in french) decouvrir"

The insectarium had insect snacks, so I ate a rice krispy treat with crickets in it. probably the healthiest treat ever made cause crickets have protein in it. If I wasn't feeling heat stroke at the time I probably would have eaten the ice cream dipped in chocolate sprinkled with termites.

Throat punch for speaking French!

Throat punch for losing the thread!

Throat punch for the sake of throat punch!

Donkey Punch for Bud!