Okay... I gave Final Crisis a chance. Really, I did. I accepted that some of the things I liked in Countdown were getting retconned just a month or two after they happened. I hated it, but I accepted it.

... no more accepting.

It's begining to feel like Morrison said "Y'know, I like some of what they're doing in Countdown, but I can do it better." Seriously. The New Gods are dead. Well, I can do that better, and we'll ignore that story. Mary Marvel, corrupted? I like it, but I can do it better than they did.

Don't get me wrong; some of it's really good. I like the idea of Super-Otaku hanging out in Japan, and the 'bullet fired backwards through time' is possibly the coolest assassination method I've seen in a comic bok... or any other form of fiction, really. But for everything like that, there's something totally and utterly inane (Darkseid destroys the world via email? Okay, so, the anti-life equation can be digitized with no loss of quality, apparently... Death can't go faster than the speed of light? Doesn't anyone die on spaceships in the DCU? Wouldn't the Green Lanterns just go to lightspeed as soon as they're in danger of dying?) that just totally kicks me in the nads and keeps the book from being enjoyable.

I mean, c'mon, you re-instate the super-hero draft, and use it to... draft people who were already part of teams to begin with? THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE COMMUNICATORS FOR! Just sound an alarm! Christ, even Green Arrow points that out in the same freakin' issue! Again, it feels like Morrison looked at something else and said he could write it better... in this case, he watches Justice League Unlimited and thought he had a better was to get all those heroes together.

Yeah, I hate to drop a mini halfway through, but... and even with all the ranting above, I was considering giving this thing one mroe issue... but two things really messed it up. One, Frankenstein is, apparently, a cop. Look, Grant, not everyone read your Seven Soldiers thing. You gotta explain that one a bit more. And two, Father Time and SHADE are, possibly, my least-favorite part of the DCU. I didn't like the story they were introduced in, from writing to art, and anything they appear in since then is just... tainted.

So, yeah. I'm out. I'll keep reading some of the spin-offs... Rogues Revenge seems great so far... Legion of Three Worlds has potential... but the actual Final Crisis? I'm going to pretend it didn't happen. Countdown was better. And that, my friends, is saying something.

Not sure if this won't just irk you even more, but the story that introduced Father Time and S.H.A.D.E. was the issue where Frankenstein became a cop.

I change my mind.

I hate Final Crisis.

Not to single you out Carlos, but:

So don't read it. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp? If you don't like how Heroclix has changed, stop buying them. If you don't like Final Crisis, don't read it. Don't just sit here and ##### about something. Either stop buying/reading, or don't ##### about it. IT'S NOT THAT ####ING HARD!!!

Really? I don't remember Frankenstein showing up in Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters...

*hits up Wikipedia... hey, how you doin', Wiki?*

Oh, wow. Okay. So that wasn't the first time he showed up. Good to know.

Well, it hates you too.

No, really, the issue told me that it really can't stand you.

As far as the New Gods are concerned, with the exception of Orion, they are easily explained if you say that they are not the 4th World New Gods, but the 5th World New Gods that the Source said it was going to start once the 4th World was killed off.
The energies that were released with death of each New God now must take on a human host until a sutible body is found/built. If it remains uncontrolled in the human host, the host body dies and the energy must find a new temporary host.
But then, what do I know?

Went in for intensive care and got an accidentle sex change?

It'd suck if it was a screw-up where there is a guy named Louis Lane in the hospital at the same time as Lois and got his tag mixed up with hers and the real Louis is now getting a speculum inserted.
That's gonna leave a mark, for sure.

It's the other way around if all parties are too be believed. Morrison pitched Final Crisis and said: "It will start with the New Gods all Dead, Mary Marvel's evil and one of the 52 Universes has been destroyed."

So someone (Didio) thought: "Great, let's make a lead-in series where the New Gods die, Mary Marvel turns Evil and one of the Universes blows up." But didn't bother to sync up Morrison's ideas with the Countdown stuff.

It's not that Morrison's ripping off Countdown, it's that Countdown mis-interpreted Morrison.

I can imagine it now. You hop on your computer. Go to your Yahoo account or whatever you have. You see you a message "Urgent!!" from LoA. You open it and find...

This is a message from the all powerful Darkseid. Tremble before the power of the Anti-Life Equation.....You have been Rick Rolled!!!

Lord of Apokalips


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Think about it.

I like the Desaad phishing email better.

This isn't bad though, but now I have an image of Desaad, Kalibak, and Darkseid performing this song.

On the other hand, all of Darkseid's minions have added at least two inches to their #####, and experience greater force and volume to their climax!

-J

No wonder the ladies joined up with Evil...

Indeed. LOL