When they were in my art class together (they were both in kindergarten at the time), and they would start the horseplay like that, all I had to do was tell them I wouldn't love them anymore if they didn't stop.

They both said "Yes, sir." and sat down with their hands folded. Every time.

Why don't I ever get any of the memos on this stuff?

...and God spoke, "My Bashies?"