Yeah. If what I call a plain omelette is what you call flat overcooked scrambled eggs, I really don't have an argument that could conclusively disprove you to my mind.

Hey, wait! What if I cook the grape jelly IN the omelette? Does using a totally nonstandard filling make it NOT an omelette?

id Say cooking jelly into your eggs is as much an omelette as Bob’s lunch is a sandwich (no need to watch the whole clip for reference).

Absolutely!

For what it's worth, I have my opinions but it's not like I live and die by them-- just what I think of your food. You can call it what you like and it won't bother me.

Also, that's overcooked for scrambled but it's not overcooked in general. I just didn't have another description for it.

The Zen philosopher Basho once wrote "A flute with no holes is not a flute, and a doughnut with no hole is a danish."

I think that this conclusively proves that an omelette with no filling is not an omelette.



I disagree that scrambled eggs need to be undercooked.



Grape jelly in/on eggs doesn't sound lick a violation of any kind. Sounds like the kind of thing that could occur as a happy accident with a blob falling off of some rye toast.
Ketchup on eggs is a thing, though, and that's just heinous.

Well first, that's not undercooked for scrambled eggs.

And of course they don't *need* to be cooked like that. But who wants dry scrambled eggs?

Fun fact: about the only place I like Tabasco sauce is on eggs, in very small amounts. Otherwise, it's way too vinegar-tasting for me.

This is making me want to go downstairs and order eggs, even though I already had grits this morning.

I'd say who wants wet ones?

What is downstairs?

The second floor of my building has an upscale cafeteria that serves breakfast until 10 or so. The have an omelet station among other things.

Discussed this with my wife on the drive in. Her (likely more orthodox) opinions

- Scrambled eggs level of cookedness is a matter of taste.

- Omelet can be plain. Different from scrambled eggs in that they are not stirred while cooking. [Google told us original French omelets were actually cooked slightly less, and rolled, for a moister inside.]

- Sweet omelets are OK with her. [Google told us that there's a whole Finnish/Russian tradition of sweet omelets, not with jelly on top, but actually sweetening the egg and putting fruit either inside or on top.]

- There's no orthodoxy about a pocket of ingredients vs mixing throughout. I prefer a pocket. She likes most things mixed in, where they will cook more. I call that "egg loaf."

I am enjoying a delicious bacon/tomato/cheddar omelet as I type. It is egg loaf style but still very yummy.

- Agreement that cooked level is an individual preference thing. When I said you like them slimy, it was not an admonishment, just an observation. I do like them thoroughly cooked and I prefer plain omelettes to scrambled.

- When I put cheese in my omelettes I leave the center runny before folding so the cheese and eggs can cook together. It's a mix of the pod and Egg Loaf. (This term is accurate as well as entertaining. I intend to use it. You get no royalties.)

- I didn't expect any backup from anywhere on the jelly front. I think it is unique to me and I fully recognize that it is sick and twisted. Did I mention that it turns the eggs a sicly grey?)

- I lean toward your view on the pocket. Egg Loaf is just Quiche as far as I am concerned and although I am not one of those guys whose manhood is easily threatened, I draw the line at quiche. I cook, sew, and care for children better than most if not all women I know, but I don't eat quiche. Also, it usually has onions or pepper in it which I find disgusting.

Jealous of your breakfast bar. Do they eggs Benedict?

I laughed audibly.

I was wondering the same thing.

Also, grits are disgusting.

I ate them for, like, a week straight in the Army.

I was 18, fresh out of High School in the burbs. (Picture Ferris Bueller, the name I was known by in my platoon. Have I mentioned that I am in that movie?) I had never been to the South and was excited to try grits and was disgusted by them. Southern guys in my platoon told me that I hadn't prepared them correctly. One said to add jelly, another said butter and so on. I did several days of their various suggestions before deciding that grits along with much of Southern 'culture' is just screwed up.

If anyone has never had grits, microwave some popcorn, pour water into the bag, drain and eat. This will be crunchier than actual grits, but that may be a plus.

No Eggs Benedict. My wife is a fan and has made them at home on occasion.

Grits are not for everybody. I discovered them as an adult, as I am 100% Yankee. I like them with lots of butter and salt. Cheese grits are OK too.

The slightly-uncooked center when adding cheese is how I do it as well. That's not loaf, it's just a baked-in pod.

I *just* watch Ferris Beuller over the weekend with my son (who loved loved loved it). Where are you in it?

Slimy generally has a negative connotation, though, so the tone conveyed by that word choice, intended or not, is a negative one.

While I find nothing at all unmanly about quiche, I am in agreement with you on peppers and onions.
I enjoy raw onions, but the, um, slimy consistency of cooked ones in unappetizing to me.
As for peppers, I don't care for that particular flavor, so cooked or raw I really just avoid them.


While I've had grits, the only thing I know about them is that apparently no self respecting southerner uses instant grits.

Why did you ask that?
Now he might answer.
For now I'm just going to imagine that he's either the Abe Froehman scene maitre d' or he's the third guy from the left among the dancers recreating the Thriller zombie dance.