Nothing
Cost: 0
Flavor: "..."

Waste your time reading this card. Continue with your turn.


Striptease
Cost: 20
Flavor: "How do you like THESE RACs?"

On the next turn, the opposing player adds a -15 modifier to his attack roll, signifying either utter disgust at what Jonah Levin looks like "under the hood" or in utter awe at Seka Ward's perfect-ness.

Gear Card: Mech Fu battle computer and TSM upgrade
Available to light and medium mechs
Point cost: infinity

Feeling your close-combat mech has lost it edge? With this upgrade you can turn your mech into a lean mean "Johny Tchang V" fighting machine! Double you myomer output with the new advanced Liao TSM, and create incredible mech fu fighting moves with the new DelRio Incorporated battle computer. Using state of the art motion-capturing technology, DelRio Inc. has copied flawlessy the Kung Fu moves of FedCom holovid star Johny Tchang V. The following mech melee SE's are improved:

1) Fists of flurry: triple your fun with Rapid Strike
2) Death touch of Brawling, +1 damage and following a successful CC attack the targeted mech is shutdown, infantry and vehicles get two tokens and pushed.
3) Shadow Agility: Any DFA, charge, or ram the damaged is reduced to ZERO, nada, nothing, zilch, nil
4) HTH Whammy: double your damage

Flavor text: "Prepare to die, my name is Flavio"

nukem: That wasn't very funny. Me and a great deal of my friends lost their house during these past few hurricanes. -_-

Legendary Equipment:

Carot LRM:
ignore all terrain and + 1 to attack.
(standard Equipment of Clan Fuzzy BUnny)

Plack Cannon:
If succesfully hit, target wont be able to move for 3 turn.
(standard equipment of dreaded Plack Hawk)


now normal Gear:
MASC:
movement are 1.5X,
restrictions:
if used back to back roll dice 4,5,6 mech imobiles for 3 turn.

Tageting comp:
got improve targeting SE

Stealth armor:
any enemy unit that in 14inch rad. while targeting this unit the range are halfed

"drop the Big Gulp"

Only on SS & SH Mechs Medium class or larger.

Add one to the vent rating of this Mech. No other equipment card maybe played on this Mech.

Cost 10

"Babies, before we're done here, you'll all be wearing gold-plated diapers!"
"What does that mean?"
"Never question Bruce Dickinson!"

Yeah, but the game effects just made no sense, even in context of the sketch, so I made up other preposterous ones (as long as they weren't going to be in-context anyway).

Try this:

Any time you attempt to make a formation move or attack with friendly units roll 1D6. On a result of 1 the formation is broken and the units can only move or attack individually. On a result of 6 normal formation limitations do not apply and any and all friendly units may participate in the formation, without having to be in base contact.

"Why don't you lay down that cowbell right now... with us... together."

(Now that REALLY doesn't make sense unless you've seen the skit!)

-= Lunatic

I am not one for blasphemy but that one just tickles me.

These are all kind of on the "serious" side...


Rotary Auto Cannons-
Cost: 10 X damage value on the starting click for this weapon system

When this ballistic weapon system is fired via a ranged combat order declare your attack as either regular damage, double damage, or triple damage. Regular damage, resolve the attack as normal. Double damage, if the black die from the attack roll is a 6 the shot misses (this overrides crit hits) the weapon jams and this equiptment is destroyed (may still be fired normally on subsequent turns). Triple damage, if the ANY die from the attack roll is a 6 the shot misses (this overrides crit hits) the weapon jams and this equiptment is destroyed (may still be fired normally on subsequent turns).


Swarm Warheads-
Cost: 5 X damage value on the starting click for this weapon system

When targeting a single opposing unit if an attack with this weapon system misses make a second attack roll and add the firers attack value. Compare this new total to the defense values of any unit, friendly or hostile, within 4 inches of the original target (including the original target or even the firer itself). All units affected by this this second attack take 1 click of damage even if the total damage assigned exceeds the damage value of the weapon system.


Laser AMS (Anti Missile System)-
Cost: 20

When this unit or any friendly unit in base contact is hit by a ballistic attack roll a 3D6 and reduce the damage by the value of the lowest die. If the unit with this equiptment is a mech it takes 1 heat, that counts as being hit by an energy weapon, whenever this equiptment is used.


Inferno Warheads-
Cost: 15 X damage value on the starting click for this weapon system

This weapon system deals no damage to mechs, instead click the mechs heat dial an amount equal to this units damage value.


Null Signature System-
Cost: 3 X defense value on the starting click for this unit

This equiptment is only operable if there is a green triangle showing in the bottom of the stat slot. While this equiptment is active this unit may not be the target of an indirect attack, and is not affected by the faction abilities of opposing units. When an opposing unit attempts to target this unit in ranged combat, cut the firer's maximum range in half, if this unit is still in range, only then may the attack may be made.


Heat Seeking Warheads-
Cost: 3 X damage value on the starting click for this weapon system

When this unit targets a mech with a ranged combat attack this unit gets +2 to its attack value if there is any digit other than zero, or any color other than green, showing on the heat dial of the targeted mech.

The rest of my questions will be centaur related.

@El_Heffe You might just want to say for the heat seakes, add this modifer if target is not on its starting heat dial click. Last I looked the SS Mjilnor has -1 on its starting heat dial click and thus could be targeted.

Timewarp
Cost: 1
Flavour: "Noooooo!"

When this card is played, the player can choose an old rule (infiltrate, charge, pog stacking) that may have been FAQ'd. The change applies to units on both sides.

No, no, no...

Timewarp
Cost: 69

(Optional) Give this unit a move order but do not move it. All players in the room must jump up from their seats and dance wildly in the aisles for five minutes. All the end of five minutes all players must fall down on the floor before they can return to their games.

-= Lunatic

munchalicious goodness

cost -100

all units get a +10 to attack, +5 to primary damage, +7 to speed, and +10 to defense. this remains in play for the rest of the game. Arnis Drummond gains 10 damage on his charge attack. artillery gains AP, and has no drift, and gains 50 damage.

Pilot Card: Private Hudson

Restricted to Non-assualt mechs

Everyturn roll 1D6 add that turns number to your roll, and if a 12 is rolled = "Game Over Man! Game Over" The game ends at that time.

Flavor Text "This can't be happening man, this can't be happening."

too bad id get banned for the amount of profanity from the real quote..