I banned dueling and somehow that led directly to "long arduous trials are held for the most trivial of offences." Right. Because that's a logical progression from "No, we will not abandon rule of law so a bunch of SCA enthusiasts can settle their differences with swords."

Yep...and getting rid of child labour leads to urchins on street corners.

The Nomadic Peoples of Bartonella is a large, devout nation, renowned for its complete absence of social welfare. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 23 million are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Religion & Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 12%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Soda Sales industries.

Punitive tariffs protect local industry, Bartonella's army is full of two-metre tall super-soldiers, cheese has been labelled a dangerous weapon and banned, and homeless people are periodically found dead upon altars to assorted deities. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is well under control, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Bartonella's national animal is the Ted Nugent, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Bearclaw.

Snf...I'm so proud!

Please tell me the problem in the first two paragraphs, here...

* * * * *

The United Socialist States of Malakovia is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, hard-working population of 56 million are either ruled by a small, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, pro-business government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defence, Social Welfare, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 49%. A small but healthy private sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, followed by Basket Weaving and Cheese Exports.

All major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, euthanasia is legal, the tenet of free speech is held dear, and the country is preparing for war. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malakovia's national animal is the rabid wombat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Clix.

Malakovia is ranked 19th in the region and 29,824th in the world for Lowest Crime Rates.

You have to rule with an iron fist!!!


*sees that Thawmus is ranked even LOWER than Depression-ville*

....um....nevermind.

The Issue
The international community has appealed to Saralto to increase humanitarian aid to the world's poorer nations.

The Debate
"We must increase foreign aid," says beaded local peace activist Chastity Rubin. "Compared to some of these nations, Saralto is swimming in woosters. Let's face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let's show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors."
[Accept]


"Talk about a way to flush woosters straight down the toilet," argues Think Tank member Prudence Utopia. "What I've noticed is that whenever we do give something, it's never enough: a few years later they're back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"Relief wouldn't hurt us... if we 'relieved' the right countries," suggests government advisor Faith Broadside. "We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their Soda Sales markets... it's win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause."
[Accept]

The Issue

Scordrag's industries have an ever-growing amount of toxic wastes to dispose of, and doing so in safe ways is becoming prohibitively expensive, leading a group of lobbyists to try and pressure the government into changing existing disposal laws.
The Debate

1. "These waste dumping laws are destroying our businesses!" rants Fleur Fellow, head of the Scordrag Bigger Business Bureau. "We need cheaper ways to eliminate industrial by-products, which really aren't as harmful as people think, such as pouring them into rivers or deep ocean ravines where they're harmless to us. Let's remember that the products we manufacture make your life easier and more fun!"
[Accept]

2. "A better way to deal with this problem is to convince the public it isn't a problem at all," whispers George W. Falopian, head of Scamcorp, an industrial think tank. "Fudge some research, declare that the chemical by-products from industrial processing and production actually make one's teeth and bones healthier. Then, sell them to municipalities to add to their drinking water! Yes! This will not only save us the trouble of disposing of the waste correctly, we'll be able to sell it at a profit! I can taste the money already!"
[Accept]

3. "These corrupt, money-hungry corporations are only looking out for themselves and their bottom line!" says Roxanne Steele, an environmentalist from northern Scordrag. "The government needs to enact stricter laws for how these companies can dump their waste safely, and when they poison Scordrag's people and environment, the government needs the authority and manpower to enforce harsh penalties! These companies make their messes, they should pay to clean them up!"
[Accept]

---------------------
Hmm, I wonder which one I'm supposed to choose.

#2, obviously. GO CAPITALISM!

There is a growing call within Bartonella to abolish smoking in public areas.

The Debate
"I'm in full support of this motion," says man on the street Zeke Johnson. "I'm sick of being stuck behind smokers, sucking in their pollution! They can light up in the privacy of their own homes, if they want."



"What's so special about their homes?" says anti-smoking campaigner Calvin Steele. "The government has a responsibility to stop people from hurting themselves -- it's the same reason we should make them wear seat belts in cars. Sooner or later, they end up in one of Bartonella's hospitals, sucking on taxpayer-funded healthcare. Not that that's why we should ban smoking. We should ban it because we care."


"Get your hands off my fag!" wheezes long-time smoker Clint Nagasawa. "I've been smoking for fifty years and it's never done me any harm. Helps me concentrate, it does! The government should back off on trying to tell me what I can put into my own body. Telling a smoker he can't light up in a restaurant is discrimination, pure and simple. If you want to put a stop to unfairness, stop that."
-------------------------------------------------

Because Big Chief JK loves his little scientifically bred monster children, and wants them to be healthy.

Heh, Do I dare try to boost my flagging economy at the expense of my beloved burgeoning dolphin population?

Their teeth will never be shinier.

The oldest power station in Bartonella suffered a catastrophic failure last night, plunging a third of Bartonella's national power supply grid into darkness. There is no debate that it needs to be replaced, but the question is with what?

The Debate
"The solution is clear," says environmental activist Randy Longfellow. "Wind turbines and solar power stations are the cleanest there are. We must switch power production to forms of renewable energy, that will never run out. The only minor problems are that wind farms will take up a great deal of space and of course we can't exactly rely on the weather. It isn't as though we control it. But think of how much healthier people will be without all that pollution!"
[Accept]


"Wind power? Solar collectors? Bah! Have you ever wondered when the least amount of strain is placed on the national grid? WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING!" exclaims Southern Bartonella Electra official Thomas Rubin. "We need power under our control, and cheaply. Coal has been the cheapest and most abundant power source for ages. We don't need this airy fairy wind malarky when we have cheap and reliable power available for all. True, pollution will be a bit on the heavy side but I'm sure that's only a minor problem, with how well funded our health system is!"
[Accept]


"Now the way I see it is that it's either green, expensive, and sprawling; or compact, polluting and cheap. Wouldn't it be nice if we had the best of both worlds? Well, we can!" claims fission technician Freddy Gutenberg. "Nuclear power is reliable, clean, and although it isn't cheap, it won't break the bank. There is a risk of deadly meltdown, but this is relatively small, and the only people who could be against this are anti-nuclear protesters, but what do we care about those tree-hugging hippies?"
--------------------------------------------------------
Because Bartonella already as monster super soldiers, Big Chief JK has decided to further screw with the gene pool of the population. Because mutations are love.

Thawmus Decides:
Police Want More Than Shiny Badge
The Issue

After a policeman was forced to apprehend a criminal with nothing more than his groceries, there has been an outcry for better equipment.
The Debate

1. "It's outrageous," says Chief Constable Larry Nagasawa. "This horrible situation could have been sorted out a lot faster if we had had the right equipment! Even the poorest criminals can buy better arms than us! We need more funds - if we have to take a bit of cash off the education and healthcare budgets to pay for it all then so be it!"
[Accept]

2. "I agree with my friend here," says zealous lance-corporal Akira Longbottom. "But let's go further. Let's create a new anti-crime group with special training and expensive - er - extensive new equipment! That would make the criminals think twice before breaking the law! Especially if our new forces can shoot miscreants at first sight without messing around with time-consuming trials."
[Accept]

3. "Hey, hey!" cries anti-gun protester, Freddy Hendrikson. "You can't be serious! Weapons kill! Everyone knows that if there were no weapons there'd be no criminals; and if there are no criminals, we won't need to waste valuable government funds on the police! In fact, I say we should go as far as doing away with them altogether! I don't see them doing anything useful anyway, except try to stop our demonstrations! Ban guns! Ban the police! Live for a better tomorrow!"
[Accept]



See, this is one of those issues that's going to radically warp my nation, no matter what I do.....

I'm gonna ban police, and see what happens. I was #2 in best crime rates, so I SHOULD be okay, but I'm sure this is going to backfire in the worst way.....

If I get this one, I'll pick the special force option and see what happens. Because Big JK's Special Peace Force Loves You and Wants You to Be Happy.

I just okayed people to marry their cats.