Wish granted

You are hit by a truck carrying a bunch of dwarves bound for the Montel Show and sent flying into a roadside pie stand. The physical deformities which result, and the combination Elmer Fudd-Daffy Duck speech impediment, cause laughter to many.

I wish I had better luck with the ladies!

Granted be thy wish.

You have extreme luck with the ladys.



who turn out to be guys in disguise...



I wish Dimebag Darrel didnt die. He was a beast with a guitar.

Wish grant but since someone had to die you die in his place to keep the scales balanced.

I wish i was the Wizard of Oz.

Wish granted

You are now a fictional character. I know I usually have these elaborate explanations and horribly ironic twists but this one is just because...because...

BECAUSE OF ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS HE DOES
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH, I'M OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD
THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ


Sorry, seem to have channelled the spirit of the Judy Garland there

I wish I had a flamethrower. Gots me some barbekooin' tas do!

Even better, someone else had to die. So fate chose a child who was destined to found a belief system that would eventually consolidate all philosophies and religions and lead the human race into a golden age of enlightenment and technological wonders. Without this child, mankind slipped into barbarism and civilization collapsed. Our species eventually dies on this world as we deplete our resources and fall on each other. Had the child lived, the discovery of zero point energy would have even contained the heat death of the universe.
So you got a few more years of guitar but you cost the human race 40 billion years and ended it with a whimper

Wish Granted,

You hold the flame thrower the wrong way and you sear the flesh off your upper body causing you to become a painful and twisted shell of your former self. Some cannibals stop by and serve your torched flesh on hamburger buns with pickles and relish eating you alive.

I wish the person who sits in the cubical accross from me would die a slow and painful death.

I have one question for you: Did the cannibals eat me with relish or just relish eating me? YOu are kind of vague there...

Wish granted

On your way home from work he runs you over, killing you instantly. The last thing he sees of you before you go under his car is your sad, confused face. This begins to eat at him. Day by day his conscience gets to him. He starts drinking a little too much. Two decades pass and he is now a full fledged alcoholic, homeless on the streets. As 3 decades pass by, his liver and kidneys begin to fail and over the space of 3 weeks, dies an agonizing death, his last thought being directed to you..."I am so sorry..."

I wish I knew what the hokey pokey was REALLY all about

Granted.

It's about your greatest fear. You never leave youre house again due to your mortification.

I wish I had a hat.

granted you now have carnivorouis death hat, it eats you.

I wish people would forget about the world cow.

Oops, my responses are in the quote section..

It was green pickle relish. Actually they thought the meat was rather tough. They got e-coli and 12 cannibals died. The other 8 cannibals have permanent intestinal damage resulting in the need for colostomies.

So who said the person sitting next to me was a he? Got issues?

Wish Granted

Your mother dies.

I wish you were not so mean. people should really love their mothers.

Wish granted, he now loves your mother.

I wish I knew what that smell was.

wish granted

you discover that your body in slowly decomposing while your still alive.

I wish I had never made that typo.

Wish granted, It is the smell of your mother after she slept with your boyfriend.

I wish I didnt have to resort to mother jokes.