Granted.

You get too smart. Galactus comes and eats your big greasy head.

I wish my arm didn't hurt.

You obtain the meaning of life but you end up getting it from a monkey. He tells you life is about being natural, eating bananas and chilling out. You are arrested in the Zoo after you are caught naked, hanging out in the trees with the monkeys and eating bananas.

I wish poachers would stop hunting and start knitting.

Did I get to throw any poo at gawking onlookers first? Or is that what precipitates my incarceration?

Your wish is granted

Unfortunately, with their demand increasing pressure on sheep farmers, wool prices go though the roof. Because of lack of pressure resultuing from a lack of poachers, wild animal skins become the replacement of choice. The fashionable thing to wear is White Rhino skin pants and Thompson's Gazelle underwear (underwear gets nicknamed "Tommy's" as a result).
Does it bother you that most of the poachers are extremely poor Africans? I would hope not, because of the demand for their hunting services, they all get rich.
Sadly they invest in a dot com company and are broke again within a year. And now they have no animals at all to hunt.
So they swear they will kill the one responisble for their sorry plight. 14 minutes later, France surrenders.

ROFL once again. I don't know why i think french surrender jokes are so funny. I actually had to change my tag line once because of one.(Political Content, of course)
You also forgot to make a wish.

I didn't?

You're right

I wish I didn't have a fear of crowds

Granted

You are now not afraid of crowds but are now afraid of being alone. You are only satisfied when you are with a group of 75 people or more. Any less and you crawl into a corner and defacate on yourself whispering to yourself:

[size=1/2]I am so alone[/size]

I wish I had a portal to my comic store so that it wouldn't take me an hour to get there.

Granted, but now the portal that is there is actually a black hole, & sucks everything, & everyone that you love into it, killing, & destroying them all, instantly. Happy now?

I wish..., *shrugs?* for some monkey cheese?

Granted

But the monkey who's milk was used to make this cheese was the same monkey from that movie with Dustin Hoffman and Cuba Gooding Jr. "out break" and you die with blood and brains coming out of your ears and nose. You happy now?

I wish for socks that keep your feet warm when it is cold and keep your feet cool when it is warm.

ps. Canadians love us some irony!

Wish granted, but due to the misinterprtation you get SOX instead, so now you have the Red Sox in the summer, & the White Sox in the winter.

Well, Basil Elks, you have to post a wish.....

Well, since you didn't I will

I wish that I could duplicate anything I touch!

Wish granted

You forget you have the power and go to take a whiz.

I wish I was allowed to beat people with a sackful of door knobs.

Fine. Don't corrupt my wish. Besides I noticed St-Dumas had their wish missed

Wish granted

Your arm no longer hurts. You are now incapable of harming anything with that arm. (You failed to specify "no longer hurts YOU")

I reiterate my wish that I was allowed to beat people with a sackful of door knobs. And by beat I mean clobber, not some weird ### situation where I win contests only if I am in possession of a sack of door knobs

Wish granted. But they are also allowed to beat YOU, and they've got you outnumbered.

Again, a wish was not asked, so to get the ball rolling:

I wish I was the Dancing Queen from the ABBA song of the same name....

wish granted however the sexcahnge operation is extremly painful.

I wish I knew The real james Monroe and not just my friend who happens to have the same name.