Satanyst?

She was crazy, I am just glad I found out early. Whole date including meeting her dad probably took less than 10 minutes.

She ended up a wreck. Married 3 times with a handfull of kids, looks like an overworked hooker on meth now. She was at my wife's 20 year class reunion.

Sheesh! good thing you didn't listen to Merciful Fate!

This will probably happen although it will not be a joke.

No.

No.

No.

1) That's pretty good, but no.

2) No.

No.

No.

No.

You guys are just chock full of help.

After thinking about it for a few minutes, my new plan is to NOT do whatever you guys suggest - I might just have a chance that way.

Send her a pic of your winkie!

Don't forget to tell her you think all forms of birth control are morally wrong including abstinence!

I saw this and was like what?

The most important thing is to get the conversation going down the right path immediately. The best ice-breaker for this is to ask "Do you like Phil Collins?"

No, the best Ice Breaker is to take a piece of ice, step on it and then tell her "Now that I've broken the ice lets make out"

Okay now, see, this suggestion is full of win. I suppose I'll have to sharpen up my axe, too, just in case.

Ask her if she likes to be spanked. No really!

I usually don't ask. When the time comes, I just do it.

Ask her when her last checkup was and what was she tested for.

Smudge, don't listen to these people.

Wear your wedding ring on the date. Tell her your spouse and your dog died in a car accident. You've been too stricken with grief to date... but then you saw how attractive she was.

When your done, shoot on her face, take a polaroid, post it on exgfpics dot com and move along.

On a related note, ask her how she feels about herpes!