World News Report

Issue 52

Satellite accident ‘billions to one fluke’ say Kentraal

Kentraal today released reams of diagrams showing electrical faults that combined to create the tragedy in Gemaco.

“We are still at a loss as to how so many redundancies failed, faults combined and coincidences occurred. Statistically speaking, a failure such as this is as mathematically probable as finding God under a sofa cushion.”


Explosion rocks Akbeezlestan, ghastly echoes of the bank bombing of ‘59

Akbeezlestan was the victim of another terrorist strike on a financial institution today.

A financial storage building, containing banking records, was blown up today, killing dozens and scattering debris throughout the huge financial sector.

Unconfirmed reports of suicide bombers were reinforced by amateur footage of badly charred remains being removed under police escort.


Archduke agrees to tribunal hearing, but his demands may be far fetched

Archduke Alexandros of Sopdet has agreed to voluntarily be judged in a war crimes tribunal, but his agreement hinges on some rather large strings.

“I will submit myself for trial, without complaint or resistance, on the day that the flag of New Gelifor flies high and proud over their homeland.”

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NOW ACCEPTING TURN 53 MOVES!

World News Report

Issue 53

Mastermind re-launch is gala event

Movies stars, diplomats and scientists from around the world were witness to a spectacular re-launch this morning, as Kentraal’s massive Mastermind satellite rocket back up to take up geo-synchronous orbit.

K.A.S.A. scientists reassured nervous guests that the satellite is one hundred percent safe now and incapable of a repeat of the tragic misfire over Gemaco earlier this year.


Sopdet, victims of a massive smear campaign

We supposedly live in a world of rules and fairness. We are allegedly judged only by our actions, not by whispered rumors or sly remarks.

Yet we have the continuing situation where Sopdet, a nation never convicted or a single crime, is held up as some kind of far fetched bogeyman, a fear monger to cow unruly citizens with the irrational dread of the foreigner.

Akbeezlestan has once again shown the world what can be accomplished when a nation of decadent wealth and low moral fiber uses economic clout to poison world news and buy up politicians to push their radical agenda.

This is one of many reporters who can not be bought by the paymasters, and our numbers are growing.

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NOW ACCEPTING TURN 54 MOVES!

World News Report

Issue 54

Akbeezlestan, the jewel in Capitalism's crown!

Akbeezlestan truly is the place to live. Unemployment is less than two percent, workers make on average two or three times what they make in the other major industrialized nations and generous retirement and health funds are provided for.

The abundant prosperity of Akbeezlestan means that no corners need to be cut when it comes to nature, culture or the arts either. Akbeezlestan boasts the most parks, museums, hospitals, restaurants, theaters and malls per capita in the world. Independent polls have named it the most popular nation to emigrate to for 20 years solid.

Little surprise then that every year millions of citizens from less fortunate nations seek the dream of citizenship. But don’t despair, Akbeezlestan is generous with its prosperity, and urges all dispossessed or unhappy people to visit their local Akbeezlestanian embassy to see about applying for citizenship TODAY!

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NOW ACCEPTING TURN 55 MOVES!

World News Report

Issue 55

Sopdet rebels against Capitalism

There were strange scenes over the weekend, as Sopdet's secret police force came down hard on the trading of foreign currency within their nation.

Street corner currency traders, a popular occupation these last few months, were rounded up at gunpoint. Those that resisted were beaten or shot.

Citizens watched in bemusement from their rooftops as huge piles of currency were piled up in to bonfires, filling the air with ash.

A new decree has made trading in foreign currency a sinful act. This comes on the end of tales that foreign businesses have been seized by the government.

Sopdet is not a place friendly to foreign investment right now.

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NOW ACCEPTING TURN 56 MOVES!

World News Report

Issue 56

K.P.C. raid Kentraal “Threat larger than anyone believed!” say experts

Kentraal was once again a major war zone, and the enemy once again attacked them without warning or known provocation. Will this sad nation ever know lasting peace?

They came at sundown, a massive force that seemed to appear from nowhere. They wore strange uniforms emblazoned with a K.P.C. logo, and left K.P.C. graffiti wherever they went. They also left plenty of bodies.

Fighting more like an army than a terrorist cell, with forces as high as several hundred thousand, they hit the defenders of Kentraal, and hit them hard. Lasers and plasma beams lit the air, and similar weapons replied in kind.

Kentraal’s defense force, reinforced by units of Gemaco’s military, fought back hard, but there are reports of men running shrieking in to no mans land, firing wildly in to the air at invisible monsters, or simply dropping to the ground dead, blood gushing from their ruptured brains.

Town after town fell quickly, but just as the remaining defenders prepared to rally and call for reinforcements, the enemy were gone, slipping off in to the dawn like ghosts.

International counter terrorist experts are at a loss as to how such a massive, well trained and fantastically equipped terrorist organization could exist, let alone have remained undetected. The source of the madness and brain hemorrhaging amongst Kentraal’s defenders has scientists and doctors baffled.

Will this menace come again? And if so, who will be their next target?

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NOW ACCEPTING TURN 57 MOVES!