granted.
your penis gets soooo big it drags the ground and causes you excrusiating pain.

i wish that i had a glass of pepsi. and by that i mean an un-corrupted glass of the soda called pepsi.

Granted.

Your uncorrupted glass is filled with pepsi, that has been corrupted as in laced with rat poison. You die.

I wish i had a really cool, green flashy light.

Granted.

You get a flashy light. It blows up. Green shards of glass fly into your faces, neck and throat.

I wish my ankle didn't hurt.

Granted.

Every other part of your body hurts like hell. In an attempt to rid of the pain you chop off your own ankle (figuring getting rid of the only part that doesnt hurt will surely lead to soothing for the rest of your body) but alas no...you just die from blood loss.

I wish i could corrupt someones wish without killing them.

Wish granted. You re-corrupt S. Duma's wish:

and leave it at the rest of his body being hurt, without him chopping off his ankle.

I wish sleep actually made me feel rejuvenated instead of making feel cruddy.

Granted, but now while you are awake everything you do makes you feel cruddy. When you wake up from your first restful sleep your first cruddy feeling comes when you look in the mirror and come to find that you now have man boobs. (if you already have man boobs, they just doubled in size.)

I wish was on vacation in hawaii.

Granted.

Hawaii sinks.

I wish I had cuddly Lisa Simpson...ive got all the others.

Granted. Jessica Simpson shows up at your house the next day in a bikini saying that you should have wished for her. She would have done more than cuddling. You cut up the doll for she just reminds you of your biggest regret.

I wish had a robot to do my work for me.

wish granted.
The robot immediately rips out your lungs so it can do the work of breathing for you.

I wish that I never made a spellling mistake.

Granted.

By not making the spelling mistake you press the "q" button....and this malfunnctions your computer as you were on the "Dont press q" web page. Your computer breaks and explodes.

I wish people could trust Kirsten Dunst.

Granted. People finally trust Kirsten Dunst. But she never receives an acting role after. So, people trust her, but she fades into oblivion.

I wish the St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series this year.

Granted.

Football is soccer. C'mon...You guys needed to call it American Football, It barely uses the feet and England football = makes more sense. Are they even an American football team lol? Anyways. Granted, You go to the betting place to pick up your winnings, but the fat boke ther,e that bet on the other team is hella pissed and needed to take it out on someone.

I wish I didnt ramble so much!

No, they're a baseball team...


Granted; you ramble so much anymore. But it because you had your vocal chords severed in a freak pairie dog accident. You can never speak another word ever again.

I wish I wasn't so cruel.

Granted, You become Richard Simmon's.


I wish my amp could go to eleven.

Granted. You become Spinal Tap.