Granted.

You have an illuminous yellow stick that's really an odd shaped lemon. You squeeze it too hard and get citrus in your eye. You're blind.

I wish I could go home.

Granted.

When you get home your Mother is ####ing the postman.

i wish i was a postman.

Granted.

You're ####ing my mom. Me, my dad and my sister beat your ### and throw you in a dumpster.

I wish that thought had never entered my mind.

Granted

You are now a postman. Although you arent the one who sleeps with peoples wives/mothers you sleep with there husbands/fathers...one day after exsiting one home you cant walk straight because of immense pain and you are mauled to death by the family dog.

I wish that my friend had a brain and could think for himself and actually had a memory. and i wish he had no legs or arms...and he has a mailbox shaped penis...

Granted. But you are one, too.


I wish I had ES/D.

Granted, but you also have Battle Fury, Leap Climb, Fortitude and Ultimates team affiliation, thus rendiring you near useless...cos your stats are like 5 8 12 0.

I wish i was gitimb.

Granted

You now have es/d. You are mugged and the shot in the chest. you tell the man he cant hit you bc your defense is +2. Then you remember you dont have a defense value therefor rendering esd useless to u and you die on the spot.

i wish could smell a cake and tell what is written on it.

Granted.

You have ES/D. This is because you're a giant heroclick figure that breaks.

I wish I knew who framed Roger Rabbit.

Granted. It was you! You get arrested and jailed.


I wish I had RCE!

Granted.

Police arrest you because you are harmful to the public and / or insane.

I wish i had a tenner everytime i got called a prick.

Granted

to your unfortune I dont know what a tenner is and I guess it is a type of car. One billion tenners fall onto you and you are crushed to your death.

I wish I had every superpower EVER

Granted but they are all defective except the farting power. You die due to your own smell.

I wish I had unlimited passes to Disney World. Including free food, admission, merchandise, transportation, hotel accommodations and that a cow would not fall from space and hit me on the head.

Granted

When you are about 3 feet away from entering Disney World a Bull comes out of the Sky and hits you on the head.

I wish my friends were here........

Granted. You're friends are here, but you're there.

I wish to walk safely down the street, without: getting killed, hurt in any way (physically, mentally, and emotionally), or losing any money or body parts or any other possession.

Granted

Eventually you start walking on the sidewalk and you get killed, hurt in every way, and you loose everything to your name. Sucker.

I wish I had some candy...