wish granted.
your immue system is super-powerful. but sadly, it's also super aggressive.
it no longer waits for you to be sick, it actually kills those around you so they can't make you sick.


i wish for the person who corrupts my wish to get exactly what they deserve.

Granted! I had a lovely breakfast, thank you. And after that, I got to watch some Godzilla. Unfortunately, the combination of bacon and sausage gravy has had..."unfortunate effects" that have driven off the cats and my bride.

I wish I had a case of Star Wars Pocket Models to open today.

Granted.

You have a stolen case. The police arrest you for Grand Theft Nerd.

I wish I had a ride to Target.

Granted! Unfortunately for you, I was your ride, and you've been taken in as an accomplice.

I wish I was down to my pre-marriage, post-high school weight.

Granted

You lose both legs and both arms below the elbow

Good thing you have that bride now, hmmm...

I wish, when they do those stupid 'rate the hcrealmsers, give power to the hcrealmsers' that I would be included for once ya exclusionist bastards

Granted.

You're rated as the worst realmer ever, and are perma-banned.

I wish I could run 5 miles without suffering from fatigue.

Granted. Unfortunately, as soon as you run 5 miles and one angstrom, you explode. But hey, you take out seven blocks in the process!

I wish I had a Joe Walsh ray.

Holy carp this thread is back again.

Granted.

You have a Joe Walsh ray. It walshes people named Joe. Unfortunately, walsh means agitate them to beat you up.

I wish for a bag of Tim's Sea Salt and Vinegar potato chips.

Wish Granted. You are given a bag of Tim's Sea Salt. And on the ground appear the vinegar potato chips. Next to the dog doo.

I wish I was able to get a genuine Philly Cheesesteak while at my family reunion in Flourtown this summer.

Granted.

A genuine Philly Cheesestake mysteriously appears out of the sky and falls down in front of one of your family member's dog, who eats it, then poops like a madman-dog for the weekend (Which you are in charge of cleaning).

I wish I was good at baseball.

Psh, only dog that was there belonged to my 1st cousin, once removed. I ain't cleanin' up after it.

Congratulations! You're sent to Cambodia, where you suddenly are the most skilled baseball player in the country.

I wish my phone got reception in my friggin' dorm.

Granted.

Your phone gets reception. However, at the exact same time, your college finds you guilty of doing terrible things to the school mascot. You get booted and can only afford a school that's exactly like the one you go to now, except there's no phone reception anywhere and nobody likes you cause you're new.

I wish Countdown was better.

We actually might have to change our mascot, or at least the pictures of stuff that go with our college. Apparently, "the Tribe" is offensive to some people, as is having two feathers for our logo. If I was in charge, I'd tell the complainers I'd change the picture, and then change it into something more offensive, like a little red man passed out face down, with a flask of whiskey in one hand and a slot machine arm in the other. THEN we'd see what's offensive.

But enough about me going to Hell. Back to the game.

Countdown is better...for five year olds, as it's turned into "Care Bear Countdown."

I wish Jeff Beck would have a free concert at my school.

Granted.

Jeff Beck agrees to do a concert. However, an alien kidnaps and mindwipes him, taking away all data about his music from his mind. Isntead, you get some local emo band to play. Emo music. Nuff said.

I wish cable didn't screw with R-Rated movies. When I watch American Pie, I wanna see Nadia strip!

Wish Granted.

There is no censorship in America and children are corrupted and constantly swear and people see all of the horrible things and events taht go on in the world and that the government cover up and freak out and start killing one another.

I wish I had a lot of money!
I wi