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Come closer. This format is so impersonal, and there’s so much space separating us. There is a dark, rat-scuttling labyrinth of network cable between you and I, and that’s a shame, because this is somewhat confidential. So crowd in. We have to keep our words low and our lips steady to discourage the efforts of whatever alphabet soup agency is tasked with poring over our data packets. There is a small room somewhere in Washington, populated by hard-faced men with names like “Agent Tanner” and “Agent Spacklin.” They’re listening in. Once this is done, I am not only going to be carted away to Gitmo, but the FBI is going to wreck house during Hobby League over at the Pentagon.
They can’t even give out their endurance totals. Classified.
Okay. That’s close enough. Open your ears—I’ve got to whisper. I’ve discovered a sort of universal truth here. Something so momentous that it humbles my very brain. In the process of penning another of what may become a series of Vs. articles, I believe I may have stumbled upon one of the fundamentals of mankind. I feel like a man who, out to pick an apple, stumbled instead upon a vein of gold. See, I understand now. I understand men who buy robot dogs from Japan. I understand how some guys can end up putting ads in the paper that say, “Selling Jeep, $500, or $4500 with stereo.” I saw the decklist I was writing about this week, and like a miraculous recovery from a severe spinal dislocation, it all clicked into place.
Further evidence that Geordie Tait is the best writer on Metagame.com, and that's saying something. I always enjoy reading whatever this guy writes. Please, keep it up.