Failed... Again.

Like I said in the very first entry of this thing.....

Another journal to TRY to keep updated.

FAIL!

Oh-freakin-well, how many people ACTUALLY journal on here? How many people ACTUALLY read other people's journals? How many people ACTUALLY care? Moi? No. *insert 'angel' emoticon here* The only reason I'm putting anything in my own journal tonight is because it's 3:13am and I'm waiting for movies to download.

I move out next Saturday, woo-freakin-hoo...

Random, off topic moment... Back to topic.

"Once Upon A Time In Mexico" and "Blade". Those are the movies I'm waiting for. Haven't seen either in quite a while. I'm just trying to keep myself occupied, and away from thinking. I don't want to think. Not for a while. Thinking makes my mind wander. My mind shouldn't be left alone (especially lately...), therefore it is locked away in it's little cage so it CANNOT wander. My mind + wandering = bad things. I'll get angry. Then I'll get sad. Then I'll get aggrivated again. Then I'll get sad again. Then I'll get confused as to whether I should be sad or angry, get fed up and be both sad AND angry. (THIS is why I call myself a HALF emo, I'm not like this too often, only when it's triggered, and it was recently triggered... Thats another story for another day, a story which will more than likely be on my MySpace blog and set to 'private'.... Certain people know what I am talking about.... Those people should have let me do what I had planned... Though it's probably better that they held me back.)

Better stop with that subject... My mind is rattling at its cage, trying to get out.

New subject.

Uh... Um... Have I mentioned already that I move back home next Saturday???

There are still no moods in the 'Mood' droplist. Someone should get on that. <-- That grin is meant to be sarcastic.

I need a vacation. I don't need to really go anywhere, just somewhere I can relax... Be with someone I can be 100% calm with (and there aren't many of those people, let me tell you. There's maybe.. Wow... There's only 1 now that I think about it...) DAM!! THINKING! NO! GRR! *pokes brain with q-tip* STOP that! *starts playing "You" on iTunes*

...

...

Ookay I'm better now. Or I will be in four minutes and thirty-eight seconds, anyway. I gotta chill. Most of my friends/family would tell me to lay down, relax, try to sleep, tell me that I'm tired... Nope. That's when my mind goes into overdrive. Not cool. I don't sleep well as it is.

I'm gonna stfu (for now, anyway), listen to a few select songs on iTunes with my eyes closed, and concentrate on the music... The rhythm... The lyrics... The voices... The meanings... Lip synching/singing/wtf-ever... That usually helps.

Music, I love you. You are my savior. Forget "Blade" and "Once Upon A Time In Mexico", I can watch them later. Right now I need some Evanescence, Michael Buble, Journey (you people that are possibly reading this and are thinking 'wtf?', hush), and Extreme (again, hush).

Maybe I'll journal later when I feel better, less frusterated and overwhelmed.

Wow this is the longest journal in the history of... My journals.

:speechles