I have always wondered what the world would be like if we could sort of license baby-making. You know, give preteens some sort of IQ/potential test, and if they fail we could cut there balls off or tie their ovaries in tight knots. This would ensure that they stop producing unfit children and allow evolution to take its course...unless of course you think God has designed the world to be saturated with complete freakin' idiots. Who knows, perhaps we would have world leaders with both spines and...

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I absolutely love Halloween! I’m making my glorious return to Salem, MA this year after many years of dressing up and going to clubs, just to see a bunch of Divine wannabe transvestites dance around and walk through poorly maintained spider webs all night. Last year I had this contrasting black and white checkered clown get-up with makeup, bloody fangs and some short stilts (for half the night anyway), it was my best costume to date but only about a hundred people really got to see it. Ending...

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I wrote this guide because I find it terribly amusing that hardly anyone has caught on to my antics yet. I’m a troll...and a pretty good one at that. This probably won’t help anyone directly but I’m bored and felt like writing an article about the art of trolling…so gather round my fellow trolls and embrace your need to cause chaos and confusion.

Before you begin trolling you need to ask yourself a few questions; am I a smarmy elitist prick with nothing better to do at work than...

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I have finally decided that I despise George Carlin. I considered him at one time to be among my mentors but now he is just a sorrowful and angry old man, still striving to gain mainstream attention by being so against his now totally lost definition of mainstream values. It used to be that he made insights that were logical and relatable, but I saw him on Bill Mahr’s HBO show and was incredibly disappointed.

Firstly, he looks very very old…like ready to just keel over any minute...

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Will everyone please shut up about the media already?

Do you really think the media is malicious enough, organized enough or even being paid enough to be biased in it’s politics? Is your view of American politics so linear that you think the media is a tool that one side or another controls? Conspiracy theorist rubbish I say. One thing controls the American media and that thing is money. The more people think the media is being run by politics, the more it will be run by brainlessness...

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