Hello again, geekwads. Yes, it's been awhile. El Fox has been AWOL, distracted mostly by another miniatures game from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Also bidding for my attention is a certain little Dual Screen gaming console and it's addictive cast of go-cart racers.

Also, I haven't been in a ranting mode. LET US FIX THIS.

Allow me to start with Heroclix, since this is a Heroclix board. I honestly have not touched my figures nor played a game since shortly...

FoxInStocks

When it comes to video games and other violent media, I sometimes struggle to explain my position on the topic. I'm all for playing a game that lets me sneak, ninja like, behind an enemy and strategically remove their limbs. However, I don't think that game belongs in the paws of, say, a 9 year old. See, at 24 I'm able to realize that the zombie-killing life I lead on my PS2 really isn't going to be acceptable if I try and bring it into my daily life. Generally, using chainsaws on the living is...

FoxInStocks

There's nothing quite like a good scandal to bring out the best in humanity. Recently, a patch was released for the PC version of popular video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas that apparently unlocked code hidden in the program for sexual mini-games. Upon the discovery of these games and the patch to unlock them, a flurry of delightful finger pointing started.

First, anti-fun activist and New York Senator Hillary Clinton screamed at the ESRB (the video game rating council) for...

FoxInStocks

It's amazing how the average person can turn into a complete ass if you give them even the smallest bit of power. For example, I had a cup of yogurt for a snack today. On the container it says that yogurt contains 'active and live cultures'. I quickly became drunk with a sense of power, holding up each spoonful of active and living culture to judge it delicious enough for my mouth.

This is partly why we wars. If you have bombs and planes with long names and numbers, you better damn...

FoxInStocks

The national bird of this nation is the eagle. It represents the drive, focus, and dedictation of our people. It's also a crock. I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point our national bird should have been replaced with the parrot.

Let's face it: the last tough decision Americans made all by themselves was who the next Amarican Idol should be. Every other opinion that your average person has was given to them by their news provider of choice. When was the last time you talked...

FoxInStocks