Rep to you my friend great joke

That joke by styx was great!
Rep incoming..
But also moving this thread to another realm.

Doh!
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to styx again.

Once upon a time there was a guy and a girl. The guy asks the girl to marry him. The girl says "No" and the guy lives happily ever after!

Sorry im was a little slow on the draw. Usually i'm the first to come up with the pun.

I've combined all the oldest jokes into a new one:

How many Chickens does it take to change a light bulb? Two

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get another chicken to change the light
bulb.


Knock, knock
Whose there?
Ester.
Ester who?
Ester another chicken in there so we can get this light bulb changed?

I can do jokes all day. Much like reading, I almost never forget a joke.

Here are a couple short ones.

***********

A man checking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"

"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."

************

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told.



Most cannot be told on this website though without some language revision.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One looks to the other and says "Wow, its getting warm in here." and the other says "HOLY #### A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

*reads thread*

*looks around*

I've got a really bad feeling about this.

What does a Vulture take to teh airport? His carrion

What kind of apple did the Witch feed Snow White? A red malicious.

An older couple were having trouble remember stuff. So they go tot he doctor and he checks them and tells them it isn't anything severe like dementia it's just that they're getting old. So he suggests they start to write things down to help them remember

Later, at home the old man gets up to go to the kitchen and figures his wife might like something:

Man: Do you need anything while I'm up?

Woman: Yes, can you get me some ice cream. Here you better write it down.

Man: That's ok i can remember something simple like that. You want a bowl of ice cream.

Woman: I'd like vanilla ice cream and also I'd like some strawberries on it. Certainly you should write all that down.

Man: I got it. I can remember.

Woman: And some rainbow sprinkles.

Man: Ok. Vanilla ice cream with strawberries and rainbow sprinkles. I'll remember that.

The man goes it to the kitchen and comes out 15 minutes later and hands his wife a plate this pancakes, bacon, and eggs. She stares at the plate for a second and then asks "Where's my toast?"

Bill and his father are out fishing and drinking beer while discussing football and NASCAR.

All of a sudden Bill says, "Dad, I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over six months."

His father, silent for a moment, slowly takes a sip of his beer and says, "Son, you better think it over; women like that are hard to find."

So my wedding anniversary is coming up. My wife says to me 'Honey, I want to go somewhere nice for our anniversary'. I replied 'Like where?' 'Oh it doesn't matter where' she says 'just somewhere I've never been before.' 'How about the kitchen?' I reply................