pet monkey-5 points
if you hit an enemy unit you deside to turn it in to a pily of banadas and your pet monkey devoids them.
fluffy_bunny I like #4 and 5

I take it neither of you have seen the Saturday Night Live Cowbell sketch with Christopher Walken and Will Ferrell.

Fluffy bunny costume

30 points

Your mech has been repainted to look like a giant pink toy bunny, complete with long wire-mesh ears. All opposing units (except Spirit Cats) ignore your unit for 5 turns, believing it to be a hallucination. Opposing spirit cats units take it as an omen, and gain +1 to their attack.

Noxious Venting:
Points: 18.
Your mech is equipped with noxious gasses mixed with its coolant. When your mech is given a vent order, all infantry in its rear arc, and that does NOT have 'battle armor' in its name, will take 3 clicks of damage from the noxious fumes.
Flavor text: "Hey Mr Taggert, would ya like some beans? "No,boys, and I think ya'all have had enough as well"

I don't think they have, but I was sure glad to see a Walken reference. Heck, I can think of about a dozen different cards just based on characters he's played in the past.

For example...

Walken's Dissolution - Give your mech a move order and an additional heat. The mech breaks up into hundreds of tiny Sylphs and flies away. Two turns later, the Sylphs return to reform the mech anywhere on the battlefield. The Sylphs have no physical representation and cannot be targeted by any type of attack, or receive damage from artillery. (See the movie "The Prophecy" for an example)

Walken's Bad Date - The owning mech gains the SE grapple, a glass of wine and a smoking jacket. Target a single opposing mech with a close combat attack. The defending mech increases it's defense by 7. On a failed attack, the target mech must attempt to breakaway at a run until it succeeds. On a successful attack, the target mech has a drink with your mech and is considered charmed (captured). (See any Saturday Night Live episode with Walken in it; the skit is called "The Continental")

1: Lucky Handgun: 50 points

In Classic Battletech, it was possible - remotely - for a single infantryman with a handgun to put a round straight through the cockpit window and kill the mech's pilot. It can still happen.

Attach this equipment to any single infantry unit. On a critical hit when targeting a single enemy Mech unit, do not apply damage. Target Mech is considered Captured. It may be Bypassed normally by either side. There is no Captor unit to destroy, the only way to gain control of the mech is via Bypass.

2: Functional HeatSinks: -450 points

And functional autocannons, gauss rifles, engines, armor, lasers, etc, etc, etc.

Play a game of Real Battletech using the same units selected for each army.

Equipment - Bravado Beam
18 points
Requirements: Energy Weapon
(Optional) Give the wielder a ranged combat action. The wielder gets -1 to its attack value and may not use Improved Targeting for this attack. If the attack succeeds, increase the wielder's damage value by 1 for this attack.
Flavor Text: "What do you need this blindfold for?" -J. Sterling, to Bounty Hunter

Planetary Condition - Hey Look, It's the Highlanders!
If your opponent is playing a faction-pure Highlander army, you win the game.
Flavor Text: You were probably going to win anyway.

I won't do it! No, I can't I won't! OOHH Okay I'll do it!

Atmospheric Overall Equipment: Wonderful Transformation

This card has a button. You press the button and the game transforms imediately to some amazing streamlined rules called Battle Mech Warrior. The game procedes smoothly and someone sweeps away a tear of joy.

Fluffy text: "Who said miracles don't happen?! Yes, Mother. I'm awake and dressing!"

Inferno Missiles (Orange Ballistic SE) When making a ranged combat attack against an opposing mech reduce damage to one and give the target mech 1 click of heat for the next 3 turns (including this one) When resolving a ranged combat attack against vehicles and infantry increas total damage by 2. This damage/heat can be prevented by reflective armor.

@ nthcircle
Ah, forget Walken, let's get back to the Cowbell....

Equipment- Hideous Cowbell Damage- 22 pts.

Any player that knows who 'Blue Öyster Cult' is, AND has seen the 'Cowbell' skit on Saturday Night Live, AND who knows who 'Mountain' is, AND recalls that 'Mississippi Queen' also had an extreme use of cowbell in it, gets 5 clicks of damage and 3 clicks of heat. OPTIONAL: Opponent may walk around the table and slap you upside o' your head instead of assessing the damage and heat.

Gear:
Name: Decapitated Parakeet
Flavor Text: "Pretty Bird, Pretty Bird" --Dumb & Dumber
Point Cost: 120 points
Rules: Place this gear card on an opponents Jade Falcon mech. This mech becomes "blind." The mech's ranged attacks are reduced to 2 in. it can only move if another unit moves in a formation with it.

Gear:
Name: C3STOOGE Software Package
Flavor text: "WoooooWoooWoooWoooo! Nyah Nyah Nyah"
Point cost: 115
Rules: This mech is considered to have agility and evasion. Furthermore, at the beginning of the turn following a shutdown, this mech automatically cools to green and restarts.
Special: This gear may not be assigned to a mech with a named pilot.

Gear:
Name: WILECOY Battle Management Software
Manufacturer: Acme, Inc.
Flavor Text: "Beep! Beep!"
Points- -75
Rules: This gear provides one extra order to this mech's side. Upon a successful hit by the mech, it must immediately make critical overload rolls for primary and secondary weapons as well as for heat.

Blasphemer! Obviously one of our more uncivilized members.
May the sound of cowbells haunt you forever.

LOL!! OK, OK it WAS a bit over the top....

Pilot Card: Sapper

Restricted to Light and Medium 'Mechs

This unit gains the Infiltrate SE, and gains a +2 to hit vs enemy support units.


Flavor: "Aim for the guy with the duct tape...."

Gear Card: Flatulence Infantry Deterrence System
Available to all mechs
Point cost: 0
Flavor: "Who passed the gas?!"

On the legs are canisters that hold noxius, caustic, stinky, and deadly gas. Rolling one six-sided die, on a roll of 4-6 the gas is released. All enemy infantry within 14" of the mech must go back to the DZ.