Yeah, but you don't really see anything.

My imagination has made up for the shortfall of my memory.

And, like I said, there's also the issue of skin health. I have to do the cost benefit analysis thing. What's better, the health benefits of clean hands (for so long as it lasts) or open wounds on your hands?

The open wounds are not only painful, they are serious vectors for infection in both directions.

So, seriously, would you rather shake my hand and have questions about whether or not I've washed after urinating or would you rather grab my hand with open wounds and blood on it, and then have to wonder if you have any small cuts on your hand through which any number of blood borne pathogens might travel?

Anyway, the whole exchange with me and the Marine was just a joke. That particular exchange never really happened. I figured you all knew that. It's an obligatory joke for when the subject is raised.

You can just as obligatorily call it "gross" (although I'm fairly certain that any germs present would number exactly 144) but the fact is that I don't always wash since I have skin issues.

I'd love to see the Mythbusters do an episode on the whole thing. They determined that most toilet seats are actually "cleaner" than surfaces that people have no contact coming into contact with like keyboards and such. Do I have my own borderline-neurotic "cleaning" tendencies? Heck, yeah. I recognize that I'm not being strictly logical on all of them. It'd just be nice if everyone could be as objective about the borderline neurosis of the current social environment as it pertains to germo-phobia.

I've only seen Die Hard, and I can't call the stuff in that gratuitous.

Jamie Lee Curtis, however, seems to gratuitously engage in some form of body-bearing in every damn thing she does, making he one of my least favorite screen personalities.

I get it. You've got breasts. I don't find you or them particularly attractive. Give it a rest.

I never play this game.

Or, from a certain point of view, in not playing this game, I always win this game.

This is a game of The-First-Lyer-Hasn't-Got-A-Chance. It's tiring and pointless. So, whenever the subject comes up, I opt out by saying, "Just call me Stubby!" I have, on occasion, gone on to play the game by making up comparisons that are just as ludicrous in the opposite direction.

1. I make the guys lying about their tremendousness look silly.

2. If any females are around, and, at some point in time they end up in an intimate situation with you, their expectations are low. Since you've set the expectations ridiculously low, they are pleasantly surprised by what little you may have to offer. If you don't really have so little to offer, they are outright amazed.

3. This numbered list, in particular, is cool.

I just say I'm hung like a baby: about 20 inches long and weighing 8 pounds

Do you have some problem with getting open sores from washing that I missed?

Yeah, I worked in a toddler room. I was washing my hands on arrival, before morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack, also, in the process of washing fifteen little hands before each of these, and after every diaper/bathroom trip, you end up washing your hands fifteen times multiple times daily. Every time you wipe a nose, you wash your hands. Every time a child sticks their finger up their nose and/or wipes it on you or others, you have to wash their hands and yours.

My hands quickly went from dry, to painful, red, raw, cracked, and finally having open sores on them. "Healing" them sucked. Lotion on dry, red, raw hands actually makes them hurt worse. That was almost fifteen years ago now, and my hands have never been the same since. I stopped using latex gloves, and that helped a little. But ever since then I've had problems with my hands getting dry and painful. It's only my attention to them, and the frequency with which I wash, that I don't end up like that again.

Ouch. Even having worked as a dishwasher, I never had any issues like that.

Yeah, now that you mention it, I look back and think that KP (Now called DFA (Dining Facility Attendants) in the Army never did that to me.

I've never been officially diagnosed, but I think I have a mild latex allergy. We had to wear gloves while diapering, and I'm fairly certain that contributed. I doubt it's a factor in why they have never seemed to fully heal, though. They become nasty SO easily. Maybe it's just age, too.

It's sad the hilarity of my Norse Mythology/ bronze age Marvel editorial footnote references as crank size boast was lost on you.

You're assuming it was lost on me.

I saw it, smiled, and moved on to my own hilarity.

Can I assume that my hilarity was lost on you?

If I didn't dislike Christmas music as much as is humanly possible, I think I'm there as of last night.

There was an incident last night. It was a bad one. The overbearingness of Burl Ives INSISTING that you have a Holly Jolly Christmas while you are concerned with the fact that someone's life may be hanging in the balance and expiring while you attempt, perhaps in vain, to quickly do what you need to help them cannot be overstated.

Strangely, I have made many complaints about the fact that our patrol room does not have running water and we, as medical professionals need to be able to quickly and easily wash our hands.

That's kinda funny, huh?

Irony?

Your hilarity is my dullsville.

Could be herpes!