THis is a thread for bad jokes. Old, new, and somewhere in between. Now, these jokes are not meant to be dirty, but rather, jokes that will make you groan, because they are just soooooo bad. I'll start.

What do you get when you cross Sega with alcohol?

A Vodka Sonic.


Lets do it people!

OK, sure.

What is the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?

Everyone can chop beef, but no one can pee soup!

God appears to a man and tells him to bring all his money to vegas.

He gets to a casino, and God tells him to go to the blackjack table and bet everything on one hand.

His first two cards get him an 18.

God says "take another card".

He gets a 2.

God says "take another card".

The guy says "are you serious? I've got 20!".

God says "take another card".

He gets a 5.

God says "****!!!"

So there was this guy, John. John was down on his luck: no job, no home, no girlfriend to mooch off of, no prospects. So, every day, he prayed that he would win the lottery.

One day, he prayed, "Dear God, please let me win the lottery today."

And the clouds parted. And a beam of light shined from the heavens. A heavenly chorus sang. A comforting and paternalistic voice spoke:

"John; Buy a ticket!"

There are two goldfish in their tank. Says one to the other: "You man the guns, I drive."

I don't get it.

To quote Pickles the Drummer:

"That is the most metal thing I ever heard in my whole life."

What's brown and Sticky? a stick

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef

What do you call a cow with one leg? Steak

Two rednecks are sitting around a camp fire. The one asks the other, "What do ya call a deer wit no eyes?" The other gazes into the fire for a second to ponder and responds, "No Idee'er" Frustrated, the first redneck blurts out, "Ok smarty, what do ya call a deer wit no legs AND no eyes?" The second pauses yet again and shakes his head as he comes back with, "Still no Idee'er."

Womens Rights

Womens lefts?

Two cupcakes are baking in an oven. One says "Man, it's hot in here." The other one says "HOLY ####! IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I take it the talking muffin was next to the two cupcakes?

Damn right.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Eliphino.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Take the "F" out of way.