1. Eat alot of burritos, chile (chili? probably) and that sort of food before tournaments. There's no better feeling than getting a round loss for having been in the toilet for 40 minutes.

2. Create intricate decks that revolve around 8 card combos to win, post them on the net and ignore anyone pointing out how awful your little inconsistant pet is (also works if you just take a bad army character and make a deck around him).

3.Tune your deck with fellow scrubs on sites full of angry 45 year old teachers who laugh at suicide, or 13 year olds planning to be the next gvl.

4. Be as awkward and annoying as possible, and reference the best comic book issue each character that hits play was. Talk about a crazy hobby of yours, like some kind of magic, or other things that make you sound like a ######.

5. Draw well and still lose. Ignore how awful your deck/play was and complain about how unlucky your draw was, or just explain to your opponent how your in it for the fun of it, not the prestige or money.

6. Play slowly, but still manage to miscalculate attacks and ask for redos (before they resolve, of course!). Call your opponent a dick if he doesn't grant you one.

7. Talk about how happy you are to be playing vs, and how it's your life blood. Talk about the amazing state of the game and yell at anyone who disagrees, as noone can get you off your high.

8. Ignore good cards, sticking to the fun ones and than complain when you don't win. Waste as much time as humanly possible with your awful decks, talking about how great you think it is to everyone and just how flavorful it is. Later invite your opponent to do some LARPing.

9. Form a tightly knit group of your fat/anorexic friends, and eat doritos while rolling d20s, as you play your super hero team through the magical world of Krynn.

10. Piss off the judges by being an annoying ####, talking about how everyone is sapping the fun out of the game by actually trying to win, being that in a game that is your objective.

Just when I thought the good thread influx on realms was done for, Warran shows up and pwns everyone. I don't understand #9 but the rest was good.

Instead of having alot of good players in your playgroup, you should play with your D&D/Super Hero P&P group instead, as they are the type of people one wishes to hang out with.

i'm good at this one

Join up with two pros at a Team $10k and go 2-9 and win $600.

I don't know who did that, but it was genius.

Currently talking bets on how long before the "Secrets the Sarcastics Who Make Parody Threads Don't Want You To Know" thread comes up.

You really nailed them Warran.

They've been shamed, and you've shown your superior internet debating tactics. Congrats, you win the interweb.

My money's on the **takes long breath** .."people who make fun of people who make fun of people make fun of people make fun of people make fun of people make fun of people make fun of people make fun of people" thread showing up waaaay before that one....;)

I still have trouble trying to ascertain why it's common for so many people to jump head first from one extreme to another, continuously...............except of course because it's easy.....and fun........but mostly because it's easy.

Did Warran strike a nerve with someone?

I agree with Graham, this thread is awesome.

PS Demonfire you

i don't want you to know that i'm an uber-scrub.
...that's my secret.

though... if you take a look at my suggestions in the Deck Garage and S&T sections, you'd know it wasn't much of a secret.

Werd.

x2

That bit about Krynn was low, man.

I wonder why you didn't add anything to the original thread that this one parodies......hmmmmmmm

He'd be quite excited if that did happen seeing all the threads he's started flaming Stu and pretty much anyone that was listening.

Just commenting on how 'exciting', 'original' and 'clever' this thread is.

No one has ever done a parody of a thread before ...

Eh, not so much, I think your a pretty cool guy, from both posts and from meeting you at that montreal pcq a few months back. I don't like stu, and enjoy irking him, but... yeah. I never claimed to have put huge amounts of thought into a simple parody topic, or that it was the funniest thread to grace the board since... whatever... It was just a fun use of 10 minutes of my time. I don't really care about how people choose to play vs, but when I thought of the D&D cross super hero reference I just had to make the parody post... Although sadly I forgot FR's plane, and had to go with Dragon Lance's, which wasn't as much fun =/.

Famous last words