Thanks, this one’s hitting pretty hard.

Fascinating. My reluctance to live on the west coast has kept my list of contacts in the industry slim. I know a lot of famous musicians but never have collaborated creatively with them. That’s amazing! My attention span when sitting still is minimal at best so consuming television is easier for me but my husband is a movie buff, and we rarely reach consensus on what is ‘good.’ Lol. Roland Emerich, Ridley Scott, and James Cameron are his favorites so that says quite a bit about his tastes. They definitely have a style, just not necessarily one I’m eager to consume. I tend to favor Snyder, Singer, and Jackson but I completely understand why people dislike their stuff. There’s plenty that can be said objectively but ultimately it’s taste (personal preference) and too much subjective commentary can easily turn an analysis into a smear job. Easy to do, but cheapens the overall experience. That doesn’t mean we aren’t free to address their behavior behind the scenes (highly unlikely that anyone mentioned in this paragraph resembles a stand up human being), nitpick trends and creative choices, but ultimately each presentation is a vision being executed and measured by how well said vision is executed. An objective analysis prioritizes that measurement and the choices made effecting it. ‘Bad writing’ doesn’t tell me if it’s a plotting issue, pacing issue, problematic context, overuse of tropes, inorganic dialogue, rushed exposition, editing, jumping the shark, deus ex machina, devoid of characterization, inconsistent, non-cohesive, or unoriginal. It’s not that it’s harsh, just that it’s unspecific (and kinda unforgiving)

Jaded is a state of mind I fully understand. Ever been to a lawyer conference? Probably a couple more good-faith actors in the writers room by comparison and definitely fewer self-interests. They have a strong union though so where luck fails…

You’re posting anonymously so professionalism isn’t really a concern. It’s just maintaining objectivity by citing the choices you disagree with than personal or derogatory generalization. It’s the bar you set for yourself at the beginning of the thread (which still made arguments I didn’t agree with but felt more objective). Obviously as the releases begin to intersect with your professional experience you’re bound to have stronger, more informed opinions, just don’t stop being as concise with them as you’ve been to this point. It feels personal, especially to a fan. And being a fan doesn’t mean I have to stand behind every creative decision. GotG’s brilliance doesn’t erase Scooby-Doo 2’s existence or forcing Shannon Elizabeth into an unnecessary T+A scene in Thirteen Ghosts. If I’m psychoanalyzing James Gunn where do those come into play?

Please don’t let me discourage you. You’re obviously inspiring discussion with your well thought out dials and diatribes. Look at it more like an editors note you are free to ignore. I’m too Voltaire to ever seek to silence you.

Now that that’s outta the way I am writing my first attempt at a full-length screenplay for Masters of the Universe. Don’t be surprised if somewhere down the line I beg you to take a red pen to it

I do sincerely appreciate the feedback! Please know that I’ll keep it in mind for future writings.

Haha the closest I’ve come to a lawyer conference is assisting for entertainment lawyers for a few years. I’ve learned that’s VERY MUCH not a skill of mine. Meanwhile, I’m very impressed by your myriad of skills!

Looks like James Gunn wasn’t involved with THIRTEEN GHOSTS (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirteen_Ghosts). It’s been a LONG time since I saw that one, and I’m not familiar with the bts stuff with it. I certainly hope everyone who signed a nudity rider did so without coercion!

As to James Gunn… I’ve written a lot about him in my MCU and DC threads. I used to love his work, namely SLITHER, SUPER, and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, but from GOTG2-onward, he morphed into a creative who outright turns me off. I recognize the vivid themes in his work of dysfunctional people in arrested development learning to heal together in the face of tyrannical father figures, and I appreciate the anti-establishment vibes in those projects… but I hate how EVERY character is a dumbed down, incessantly juvenile and boorish version of their comic book counterparts. I had how so many of his female characters are inevitably “team mom,” and it’s them who have to change; not the toxic men who are obsessed with them. I hate his over-reliance on licensed music, and it functions as padding in so much of is work. I also hate his low-key Orientalism that pops up in all of his projects. SUICIDE SQUAD taking place where it did and against those villains also struck me as problematic at the very least.

All that said, yes, I’d be happy to provide script notes when you finish your project! I know next to nothing about MOTU, but your masterful thread is exquisite catch-up material!

Insert fireworks emoji.

Gunn was brought in late to rewrite Thirteen Ghosts. I believe it’s where he met Matthew Lillard leading to the best cartoon to live action portrayal in history. His contributions however seriously lowered the tone of the film with a completely unnecessary inclusion of a ghost tearing Shannon Elizabeth’s clothes being the main offender from that film having any chance of being taken seriously. It’s a shame because the premise was actually good and left the door open to a truly terrifying form of Ghostbusters.

I second the decline in maturity of every title he handles, but my bigger problem is the nepotistic tendencies that keep true talent from being discovered. It was sort of novel when Tarantino did it, less so with Ryan Murphy, and just tiring with James Gunn. I understand having a circle of friends you possibly envision when writing but ultimately it’s limiting and we end up with more character actors than characterization maintaining little consistency between mediums. It’s a gamble that has paid off for him but you don’t stay at the table once all aces have dropped or expect to lose big. I want to be optimistic about his handling of DC but as more news drops maintaining that optimism becomes exponentially more of a challenge. And the way he’s treating the talent (Gadot, Cavill, Johnson, Finn Whitrock) leaves much to be desired to the point you don’t even want to root for his success. Really a shame bc outside of X-Men I’m a total DC guy.

Whoa, rep for intel! I had no idea. Jeez, yeah, kind of a gross choice. I’m mixed on it. Does kinda make me want to rewatch the movie to see if his hallmarks are clearly on display. Mostly I just remember all the ghosts having cool, interesting designs.

Russell Crowe plays Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, who is the apparent director of Prodigium, a S.H.I.E.L.D.-analogue for Universal Monsters. Rather than being a post-credits cameo like Nick Fury was in IRON MAN (2009), the MUMMY (2017) derails its second act to visit a Prodigium base (apparently a random office building in London? It’s very TV-level) and show off easter eggs including vampire skulls, the Book of the Dead, and the Gill-man’s webbed claw. AREN’T YOU EXCITED FOR THE DARK UNIVERSE SHARED CINEMATIC UNIVERSE?! WE SURE HOPE YOU ARE!!!

Despite THE MUMMY’s many, many flaws, there is some joy to be found in it. Jenny and Ahmanet are intriguing characters with clear potential that better writers could’ve delivered. The scenes with mummies & zombies are actually creepy and visceral with decent horror timing and effects. Russell Crowe has fun ham-acting Mr. Hyde, and it’s genuinely fun to watch him beat the s*** out of Tom Cruise. Mr. Hyde’s scene might straight up be the best scene in the movie, even out of context.

But for all its qualities, THE MUMMY finds some way to bungle it. For all their potential, Jenny & Ahmanet are, again, squandered and sidelined. The mummy & zombie scares are undercut by slapstick humor and unfunny Tom Cruise antics. Jekyll’s Prodigium office has a special lock that won’t let him leave if he’s Hyde. If that’s so, why was he walking around in public earlier in the film? There are gaps in tone and world logic that hold everything back.

It also stole a bunch from other, better movies. Much of its iconography and mummy powers are straight lifted from THE MUMMY (1999). Chris Vail, Nick’s ghost buddy, is stolen from AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON. Everything in Prodigium is clearly referencing the MCU’s S.H.I.E.L.D. All of this is distractingly obvious.

Universal spent between $125-195 million on THE MUMMY, and easily spent that amount or more on advertising (including an unfinished trailer that didn’t help the film’s optics). The film bombed with critics and at the box office, losing Universal somewhere between $60-100 million and unraveling all hopes for future Dark Universe movies.



#061 Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
Real Name: Dr. Henry Jekyll & Mr. Edward "Eddy" Hyde
Team: No Affiliation
Range: 0
Points: 35
Keywords: Prodigium, Scientist, Brute

6 9 16 1

6 9 16 1

6 9 16 1

KO KO KO KO

9 11 18 3

8 11 18 3

8 11 18 3

7 10 17 3

7 10 17 3

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

KO KO KO KO

Unreliable Injections: Clicks 1-3 are Dr. Jekyll, Clicks 4-9 are Mr. Hyde. When Dr. Jekyll would take damage, instead deal him one damage, note his Click number, and turn him to Click #7. When Mr. Hyde KOs an opposing character, you may turn him to his noted Click number. Safeguard: Pulse Wave.
You Best Learn to Be Wary of a Man Like Me: Charge & Flurry.
Recognize, Contain, Examine, Destroy: Leadership & Perplex.

UPDATED 11/13/23 - Thanks, AdmiralB!

Unravelling?

Lol my first pass at this used "scuttling," and when I looked at it this morning, I had to ask myself if I any class whatsoever.

Nitpicking format...shouldn't the special power be Charge/Flurry and he just get regular Super Strength? Unless there's a specific flavor reason to have them separated that way.

Lol I wish I could tell you why I made that choice initially. I think I was figuring out this dial in the process of coding and it wound up on the ungainly side. Truth be told, I don't love this one even with your fine edits applied. I may edit it down the line to be a little... better.

That said, thank you for those notes! I've updated the dial and sent you some rep. I appreciate it!

THE MUMMY (2017) may have killed the Dark Universe in a single stroke, but it lives on in a pretty fantastic podcast!

Are You Afraid of the Dark Universe is a podcast that speculates what the Dark Universe would’ve looked like if it had continued. Each episode, the hosts pitch to each other a scriptment of modern takes on THE WOLFMAN, THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, and more. In just over a year, they’ve turned out one gripping story after another, and in MCU terms, they recently passed their AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON.

My favorite episodes?

THE INVISIBLE MAN: A raunchy slapstick comedy pitched for John Reilly, who’d be the invisible man. He’s invisible, as is anything he hides in his body. At one point, a part of him becomes visible, and he is referred to as “a porno ghost.”

THE BLACK LAGOON: a magical realism coming of age story not unlike PAN’S LABYRINTH, a Latinx 13 year-old begins to make discoveries about themself around the same time the mystical Black Lagoon appears in their conservative, Florida town.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA: A goddamn musical episode where monster hunters investigate the murders plaguing the last broadway performance of Phantom of the Opera.

DRACULA LIVES: A freshly mortal Dracula desperately tries to reclaim his immortality as he claws through 5 different horror scenarios, including against the all-new, all-different Van Helsing.

THE DARK LEGION: THE MUMMY’S HAND, PARTS 1 & 2: The Dark Universe’s Age of Ultron, all the characters hang out at a LGBTQ+ wedding only for s*** to go down, and for the team to race against time in a globetrotting adventure to stop a familiar Universal Monster from taking over our world and the underworld.

Seriously give this series a listen. You won’t regret it.



#062 Ahmanet
Team: Mystics
Range: 6
Points: 200
Keywords: Mummy, Ruler, Mystical, Past

9 12 19 4

9 11 18 4

9 11 18 3

8 12 19 4

8 11 18 3

8 11 18 3

8 12 19 4

8 11 18 3

7 11 18 3

7 11 17 3

7 12 17 4

KO KO KO KO

Kiss of Death: Sidestep & Steal Energy.
Calling Her Chosen: Mind Control. // Force Blast, and when Ahmanet uses it, she may choose the direction the hit character is Knocked Back.
A Living Sandstorm: Smoke Cloud, and after actions resolve, Ahmanet may make a ranged attack against every opposing character occupying one of her tokens for FREE.
The Pact With Set: STOP. Invincible. Regeneration as FREE.

UPDATED 11/14/23 - Thanks, ComicJunkie!

I still find it kinda weird that somebody at some point was like "What if our desiccated, millennia-old preserved corpse monster was sexy?". But I guess that can technically apply to Arnold Vosloo, except, well, they weren't pushing his sensuality like they clearly did for this. Because, you know, if your villain is a woman, her deadliest powers must be tied to her capacity for being eye candy.

Like fine, have your Mummy be a woman, that's absolutely cool. But she should be delivered with the same level of sex appeal as the male mummies were. I.E. any sex appeal was not part of the design.

I dunno. It's just weird. I remember being a little icked by the concept in Suicide Squad's trailers, reimagining Enchantress as some kind of demonic erotic dancer, and I remember being more than a little icked by the concepts in this movie's trailers, 'cause well - again - millennia-old desiccated corpse.

Haha I think you may have confirmed yourself straight, my friend. Topless Arnold Vosloo in his prime making smoochies with ladies in both films? Oh, they knew what they were doing.

For that reason, and because Karloff's Mummy was romantically focused, I was ok with Ahmanet being a sexy lady and a desiccated mummy. She regains her youth the way Imhotep did, so it tracked for me. That said, you raise a point that it could've been even creepier if she didn't become hot, but if she just cast a glamour that made her appear that way.

That said, fully agree with the Enchantress redesign for SUICIDE SQUAD. Granted, just about every character design in that was ill-advised.

Jeez, imagine if that team had designed this movie. Ahmanet has "Damaged" on her forehead XD

Re Suicide Squad: Why they cast a model instead of an actress for their big bad was mystifying pun intended but then again the method actor they cast as the secondary antagonist got a little too creative with the role. Interestingly my ghetto friends applaud it for its realness though so it does have a fan base, just not a mainstream one.

I felt sorry for Vosloo bc even ripped and shirtless getting any sexual attention next to Brendan Frazier at the time was impossible, even if he was a decade beyond George of the Jungle. Zartan was sexier but I have no attraction to Magic Mike he was up against so that’s likely a factor.

As stated earlier I’ve tried twice to get through this film unsuccessfully so I don’t have much commentary in way of the representation in the dial but I could give you the benefit of the doubt and try to play Ahmanet twice (likely unsuccessfully bc my dice rolls never recovered from Covid). Still seems a little strapped damage wise for 200 points though. Cosmic Energy TA and/or Mystics would help justify the investment.

Well, guilty as charged there.

But at least to my recollection, Imhotep was more prone to supervillain posturing than sexy allure, and I don't recall him being a seductive tempter so much. I'll admit, it's been a long time since I've seen the movies, and I have absolutely zero interest in the 2017 attempt so maybe Sexy Lady Mummy has her fair share of supervillain posturing too so I could be wrong, but I somehow doubt it.

Being sexy wasn't the focus of Imhotep. It really seems like with characters like Enchantress and Ahmanet, titillation is the point.

He did seduce Pharaoh’s daughter and his motivations were to bring the love of his life back to the land of the living (albeit conquer the world alongside her but I digress). Immortal romantics tend to come off as sexy. Louis and Lestat. Dorian Gray. Dracula. You’re obviously not the target so no worries but don’t discount it!